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Batman: The Telltale Series

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Best Friends Play

Batman: The Taletell Series

Batman Telltale Title
Watch this series on the website

Watch this series on YouTube

Game Batman: The Taletell Series
Original Run Mar 26, 2017 -
Controller Matt
“Each one of those Batarangs was coated in AIDS!” — Woolie


Best Friends Play Batman: The Taletell Series is a full Let's Play in which Matt and Woolie prevent Catwoman from stealing all the sound effects, bemoan their inability to prevent Harvey Dent from becoming Twenty-Face, teach kids that revenge is cool,


About Edit

“'
— Website playlist description

See the individual episode descriptions at the Batman: The Taletell Series Descriptions page.

Quotes Edit

Do you want the most useless option of anything ever?
Matt about the Bat-Tech color
I thought it was gonna say, 'Batman is not a real person. Do not attempt to avenge your parents at home.'.
Matt
Have you heard about this guy? He beats you up... and then leaves you alone.
Matt
We fought on every rooftop in Gotham ever.
Matt
We also fucked on every rooftop in Gotham ever.
Woolie
We fucked-fighted on every Gotham rooftop ever.
Matt
Batman, you gotta pay the troll toll if you want this boy's hole.
Woolie as Penguin
Hey, listen, Batman, if you're gonna have to fight me, you're gonna fight my magnum dong.
Matt as Penguin
There should be a prompt that says 'Make New Robin'.
Matt about Homeless Person
He's got a British accent. That means he's a bit more important as a character!
Woolie, in a British accent
Just like the rumors that your daughter can walk! There's allegations that her legs work. What do you have to say about that?
Woolie to Commissioner Gordon
Everything will go red and.. Republicans will vote? I don't really get what that's supposed to signify.
Matt
The buildings are still Liberal, as you can see..
Woolie
But the Morlocks are Republicans.
Matt
Each one of those Batarangs was coated in AIDS!
Woolie
Look at little Bruce practicing how to shiv people.
Matt
Remember the other day when Pat came up here and he was moving at five frames a second? It was rough. Then he started screen tearing. It was gross.
Woolie
Grosser than usual.
Matt
These are some gross pictures, Alfred. I'm uploading them to the Bat-Computer. Put them in the 'Gross' file.
Matt
Get those up on Bat-Chan.
Woolie
On Bruce's Bat-Computer, there's like, three folders. There's 'Gross', then there's 'Icky', and then there's 'My Dead Parents'. ...And pictures of Catwoman's butt.
Matt
You had me at Hyper Combo Crackshoot finish.
Matt
Dammit. Steve Jobs changes the port on the bottom of the iPhone, gotta redesign the whole Batcave!
Woolie
“'I'm dealing with it.' says man in a grown bat-suit.
Woolie
Is she going rogue?
Woolie
Yeah, she's gonna get mutant powers and put a white streak in her hair.
Matt
Canadian politics, we have like, seven gangs, and they all have a shot. They're like gangs in The Warriors movie.
Matt
Yeah man, you didn't see Thomas Mulcair putting on the war paint?
Woolie
Also, if you think about it, our prime minister is basically a Lannister.
Woolie
Be on the lookout for dudes that are gonna throw their jizz at you as you walk by.
Woolie
Yeah, he likes me! Please buy all Batman action figures and merchandise.
Matt
What are you saying? All white girls look the same, Woolie?
Matt
Kinda!
Woolie

ChoicesEdit

Episode 1: Realm of ShadowsEdit

  • Defied Falcone by inviting Harvey into the meeting
  • Provided Vicki with a quote
  • Brutally broke the docks shooter's arm
  • Gave the Falcone data to Vicki Vale
  • Handed Falcone over to the police safe and sound

Episode 2: Children of ArkhamEdit

  • Eased Falcone's pain with morphine
  • Tried to kiss Selina
  • Chose to visit Mayor Hill as Bruce Wayne
  • Continued to fund Harvey's campaign
  • Saved Harvey over Selina

Episode 3: New World OrderEdit

  • Chose to back up Harvey
  • Kept composure when provoked by Oswald
  • Had Lucius quit and work full-time for Batman
  • Spent the night with Selina
  • Refused to physically attack Harvey

Episode 4: Guardian of GothamEdit

  • Denied Joker a favor in return for help in Arkham
  • Followed Joker's advice and made a phone call to get out of Arkham
  • Paid off the enforcer at Harvey's security checkpoint
  • Chose to intimidate Harvey as Batman
  • Chose to stop Oswald from destroying your tech

Episode 5: City of LightsEdit

Trivia Edit

Gallery Edit

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