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Catherine (Full Let's Play)

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Best Friends Play

Catherine

Catherine FLP Title
Watch this series on the website

Watch this series on YouTube

Game Catherine
Episodes 20
Combined Length 10:17:28
Original Run Jul 7, 2016 - Aug 17, 2016
Controller Woolie (controls); Matt (moral choices)
“If you could choose one, would you choose your lover or Dat Boi?” — Woolie


Best Friends Play Catherine is a full Let's Play in which Woolie tries to get Matt in trouble with the missus as they experience the everyday life of Danny Sexbang.


AboutEdit

“'
— Playlist description

See the individual episode descriptions at the Catherine (Full Let's Play) Descriptions page.

Quotes Edit

Me and Woolie are gonna play the best Persona game, Catherine.
Matt
Moses was fuckin’ OP if you really think about it: had great normals…
Matt
...good range…
Woolie
...good supers, great summons!
Matt
You gotta sacrifice yourself for more time in a relationship.
Matt
Lonely death of some basement lord.
Matt
Right... at least he wasn't caught with his dick in his hand.
Woolie
Daria is really close to Gods of Egypt in tone.
Matt
I'm gonna say 'It begins'.
Matt on if life begins or ends at marriage
*Flips back and forth between the two choices silently*
Woolie
I didn't stutter.
Matt
My snake has cuter eyes than you!
Matt
Frank Castle sees his family murdered... EDGE!
Matt
Hey look, it's Christian and... EDGE!
Woolie
Dude, you're swearing like a sailor in front of Nanako. What the fuck, man?
Woolie
She saw a Bird Squad shirt on the floor.
Woolie
She saw and 'Oh man, I gotta get the fuck outta here!'.
Matt
Where did Jonny get that out of? Oh, is it called My Ass Avenue?
Matt
Pythagoras? Your theories are shit.
Matt
Way to contribute nothing. Ooh, a triangle. Guess what? We all know what a triangle is, idiot.
Woolie
It takes a huge hero to cheat. Like Overwatch players.
Matt
It tickled her ovaries.
Woolie
Those fallopian tubes really got a good chuckle when they saw you.
Matt
You've won, like, an undeterminded amount of nights with Ser Gregor.
Woolie
When the Watchmen need watchmen, where does the toilet shit?
Matt
Only famous people and scumbags have two phones.
Woolie
I thought I was gonna be a concept artist for Ubisoft.
Matt
Draw for Capcom/Mainframe when they merged together.
Woolie
Did you not see the flayed man banners hanging from the Dreadfort?
Woolie
From Katherine's house?
Matt
AKA the Dreadfort.
Woolie
You're an adult when you're playing this game. You're supposed to be if you're fucking parents did the right job and the guy at EB Games did the right job.
Woolie
Oh shit, she's got a model Gundam in the back of the shot! I wonder what grade that is?
Matt
I read that line too fast. I saw 'eat out' and I saw 'Katherine'.
Matt
Maybe not that adult.
Woolie
It's the same thing that Liam always says, 'Um, it happened before I was born, sir.'. That's your fucking excuse for everything, Lima Bean.
Matt
Can't break up.
Matt
Break me up inside.
Woolie
I can't break up.
Matt
Would you do Wendy?
Matt
No.
Woolie
What if she offered you a hamburger?
Matt
Hmmmm....
Woolie
You're tearing me apart, Anna!
Matt
Now that she's super knocked up, now she's in the prime of her 'getting a new man' time.
Woolie
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Now it's the time to hit the uterus when it's hot.
Matt
Big cats, like jungle cats, they have sex for about two seconds, which I'm intimately familiar with, but they do it all day.
Matt
Matt ain't no cuck. Leave it for another member of the Zaibatsu.
Woolie
Fucking Reaper over here. So much edge.
Matt
Look at you, all Paragon and shit.
Woolie
You cheatin' on me with a baby?
Woolie
Man, you need the freshest meat!
Matt
I have a fear of commitment, daddy issues, mommy issues, Vincent issues, sheep issues, block issues...
Woolie
Ant issues!
Matt
Kill Moose, get Midge.
Matt
Now humans are pretty impressive in that, y'know...
Woolie
We have huge penises.
Matt
If you could choose one, would you choose your lover or Dat Boi?
Woolie
You walk into the bedroom one day...
Woolie
And Pat's fucking there?
Matt
...and there's tarp on the floor. You need to take fucking assessment of your situation and your circumstances, sir.
Woolie
Let's start the kink-shame, shall we?
Woolie
This one is very Avril Lavigne in that I don’t know why they had to make it so complicated.
Matt
Relationship abuse for comedic punchline effect.
Woolie
Never not classy and relatable.
Matt
She's like, 'I'm not even preggers. That was just a lie to make things interesting.'.
Matt
I was bored.
Woolie
Those sound like the shits of a broken man.
Matt
Just cut back to the flashbacks of him just, like, doing missionary and doggy style with nothing.
Woolie
Nothing there! And he's just slapping at nothing.
Matt
List of people who have gotten Satan flustered; The Father, The Son, The Holy Ghost, Vincent.
Woolie
Which way will my dick go?
Matt
Left or right?
Woolie
Like a diving rod. Oh, dousing!
Matt
Dousing rod. Will it go to Heaven or will it drill to Hell?
Woolie
I was just roughing up the owner of this establishment. For laughs.
Matt
Would you cheat on the Cthugha with the Kthugha with a K?
Woolie
It's what my dick wants that matters.
Woolie
It's what it says to me. It councils me. It understands. ♫It talks to me.♫
Matt
♫I hear voices in my dick.♫
Woolie
I'm free to fuck humans, demons, whatever the fuck in between.
Woolie
Cigar store Indian statues.
Matt
Nothing can stop me.
Woolie
Hydrants.
Matt
I'm all the way up.
Woolie
Phone booths.
Matt
Catherine: Gods will become Cucks.
Woolie

Matt's Confessional AnswersEdit

Underline = Yes / Strike-through = No

Does life begin or end at marriage? It begins. It ends.
Do you prefer being in quiet or loud places? Bring in the noise! I like it quiet.
Which is more "cheating"? An emotional tryst. A physical fling.
Do you talk back to the TV? Maybe... No way.
Are you more a sadist or a masochist? Sadist Masochist
Ever been told you were stingy? Maybe. No.
Is good housekeeping important in a partner? Yes Not really
Your lover is cheating on you. Do you...? Break up with them. Make them end it.
If you get a call from someone you hate, do you... Answer it. Straight to voicemail!
Would you try to steal your friend's lover? Can't stop the heart. I'll hold back.
Your best friend or your lover? Choose! Friend! Lover!
How would you propose to your lover? Just let it happen It has to be special
You find your lover's kink horrifyingly unsexy. What do you do? I'll try anything once. This relationship's over.
Would you date someone who's already married? All's fair in love and war. I don't cheat.
If you could cheat on your girl with a girl that doesn't exist, thus no one would ever know, would ya? (Woolie) Yeah... Never!
Would you risk everything to get your lover back? Of course! Maybe not everything...
Do you wish for a peaceful life? Yes No
Do you wish for the excitement of chaos? Yes No
Are you prepared to live in peace, forever? I'm ready Not Really


TriviaEdit

  • The opening animation was made by StarExorcist.
  • The music played during the intro and outro is "YO" from Catherine OST.
  • The original Catherine episode was released during the third season of the Machinima series.
  • It was revealed in part fifteen that Woolie's girlfriend had been watching this playthrough.

GalleryEdit

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