Matt & Pat's Shitstorm of Scariness


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Game Condemned: Criminal Origins
Controller Matt
Length 39:17
Next Cursed Mountain
Previous Calling
“Now, as you know, I'm an expert with fire axes.” — Matt

Condemned is the fourth episode of Matt and Pat's Shitstorm of Scariness special.

About Edit

Even poor people are not safe from the shitstorm of scariness! Can Matt & Pat beat enough hobos to survive this night of stupidity?
— Video description

Description Edit

In this episode, Matt and Pat explore decrepit buildings and investigate a creepy murder scene. Along the way, they beat homeless dudes, stare at their feet and shadows, get framed for murder, and hunt for semen with futuristic gadgets.

Quotes Edit

Nothing says "immersed" than the one-two step!
— Matt
Whoa fuck, a phone!
— Matt
I bet the killer's a killer.
— Matt
Please don't shove it up my ass Mr. Pipe.
— Matt
Don't call me Ethan! That kid's an asshole!
— Pat
You troll me so often, yet it works so often.
— Pat
I really like the idea of a game where the entire premise is to beat dudes with pipes.
— Pat
My hearing has been subtitled.
— Matt
Look at all this future shit just shooting at the semen!
— Matt
Use your Jedi powers to beat dudes with this crowbar.
— Pat
I wish I could kick Goofy down the fuckin' stairs. What an asshole.
— Pat

Trivia Edit

  • At 20:30, one of the police officers throws a fire axe through a window.
  • According to this episode, Pat was hit with a stun gun in the ninth grade.

Gallery Edit

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