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Dark Souls (Full Let's Play)

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Best Friends Play

Dark Souls

Dark Souls LP Title
Watch this series on the website

Watch this series on YouTube

Game Dark Souls
Episodes 76
Combined Length 38:03:42
Original Run Dec 25, 2016 - May 1, 2017
Controller Woolie
“I've gotta face fuck you. I'm sorry.” — Woolie
“That's a horrible sentence I hope I never hear in my life.” — Pat


Best Friends Play Dark Souls is a full Let's Play in which Pat and Woolie break out the emergency LP in order to prevent the channel from hollowing any further but get Woolie exposed in the process.

Total On-Screen Deaths: 142


About Edit

“'
— Website playlist description

See the individual episode descriptions at the Dark Souls (Full Let's Play) Descriptions page.

Quotes Edit

This is a nice couch. It'd be a shame if I covered it with my entrails.
Pat
What the fuck is lip asperity?
Pat
I ain't 'fraid of no fucking trademark, copyright, hashtag, bitch-nigga ghosts.
Woolie
Copyright that? I would love, I would love, to see that meeting at the patent office.
Pat
Woolie, your face is so black. Look at it. It's like... it's like looking into the abyss.
Pat
Lordran is an awesome, mythical place.
Pat
I thought it was just a foggy asshole.
Woolie
A foggy asshole, huh? Is that some kind of sex move? It's when you're in England, and you're in the alley, and you just put it in whatever you find.
Pat
The burg is JonTron.
Pat
It would make sense that Bonfire-chan would be the most tsun-tsun of all the firey tsundere.
Pat
This motherfucker took my money and still told me to go fall off a cliff.
Woolie
It's what's on your shit, not what's in your shit.
Woolie
Man, you look like a burnt piece of fucking grape bacon.
Pat
How about me? Always wrong. I'm making a career out of it here.
Pat
Great shields in this game are great... shields.
Pat
How many could there possibly be? One, two, oh they're inside my ass. They're in my ass. Help.
Pat
I, however, am made out of metal.
Woolie
You're made out of a bunch of crap.
Pat
Why is everything so intent on proving me wrong?
Pat
I am getting intense nostalgia shivers in my balls.
Pat
You're so willing, it's actually suspect.
Woolie
You snore like a bastard.
Pat
It's basically an ability on my stat sheet at this point.
Woolie
I need to toss a fireball every once and a while, just to remind myself I'm a pyromancer.
Woolie
So we got haircut bitch-boy and doofus over here.
Woolie
Can I join the covenant of the bird ass?
Woolie
Sounds somebody did a slight amount of research.
Pat
No, I'm just doing what you told me to drop last time.
Woolie
Oh. Sounds like I'm smart.
Pat
Oh my god, Kirito. Let me suck your dick.
Pat
I'm the mouth fuck champ.
Pat
Big sludge for big pudge.
Woolie
I was about to say that's a death drop but then I saw a ghost fucking skating down the ramp.
Woolie
Ireland's a weird place. Sorry, fantasy Ireland is a weird place.
Pat
The big fuck door. I remember the big fuck door.
Woolie
It used to come on after the Big Comfy Couch.
Pat
♫The Big Fuck Door.♫
Woolie
Also starring Alyson Court.
Pat
Now commence ninety minutes of shit eating.
Pat
I don't like this. I lose my power when you agree with me. All of my powers are built off of argument.
Pat
Glomping is banned. They banned glomping at BlightCon.
Woolie
You may notice that your pass is exuding miasma. Your Con pass.
Pat
Try bravery. Do you have any of that? Be honest.
Pat
This is a cool place to PVP.
Woolie
Yeah.
Pat
Is it?
Woolie
No.
Pat
A lot of things are ahead.
Woolie
I've got 'a head' on my body. Nailed it! Fucking nailed it! I'm gonna win an award.
Pat
I've gotta face fuck you. I'm sorry.
Woolie
That's a horrible sentence I hope I never hear in my life.
Pat
If I didn't suck so much I'd be better at it.
Woolie
Man, I'm an idiot. Help.
Pat
How did 9/11 get Shrek pregnant?
Pat
Ohhh.. my butthole. I was saving that.
Pat
Ceaseless Discharge!
Woolie
I got a little bit of that. I gotta go to the doctor.
Pat
You don't parry an asshole.
Pat
Yeah! Get in me!
Pat
Are the gods dropping balls to test me?
Woolie
Maybe.
Pat
Well fuck you, God. I'm gonna getcha.
Woolie
My dick knows if it's a snek.
Woolie
Baby, you got a funnel going.
Woolie
That's horrific. I don't like that.
Pat
Take off your pants..
Pat
..and shit on the floor!
Pat and Woolie
Now the cake should start walking.
Woolie
Your phone is calling you to tell you that you're about to shit yourself.
Pat
A white rat.
Pat
What does that mean?
Woolie
I don't know. It doesn't like hip-hop?
Pat
Ever Since Dark Souls 1 came out in '98, I've known who this character.
Pat
♫ I like my spear, I like my spear. Stab, stab, stab. Stab, stab, stab. ♫
Woolie
Oh, we're in it today.
Pat
♫ I like my sword, I like my sword. Slash, slash, slash. ♫
Woolie
The dragon was the one that was the instigator, with that 'come hither' dragon look. You know the one.
Pat
You don't know. Maybe dragon dicks are hilariously small. Is that not an option for you?
Pat
I just can't get over what a great year 1998 was for video games. Ocarina of Time, Metal Gear Solid 1, Half-Life 1, and Dark Souls.
Pat
Rot in fucking hell, if it exists. If not, go hollow.
Woolie
Stabbing you in the ribs, like Jesus. I did him like Longinus did.
Woolie
Helm of the fuck that killed my firekeeper. During his solitude, he forsook everything, for he believed in the path of being a bitch.
Woolie
I heard that you can shoot her in the tits.
Woolie
Yep, you can.
Pat
And you can see them jiggle.. or something.
Woolie
You see something. .. Who the fuck told you that?
Pat
At nighttime, the not sun comes out.
Woolie
Do I wanna become a girl right now?
Woolie
He can be king of my dick if he wants.
Pat
This LP is one of the ten cursed LPs.
Pat
“'Time to start playing KOF 14.', I said, knowing fully well I won't.
Pat
Woolie 'The Gamecube was Blue'... you're mad. You're fucking mad.
Pat
I'm legit exhausted with this conversation.
Woolie
Then stop being wrong!
Pat
Oh, there's friendly dick gestures. Like this.
Pat
Welcome to Persona 5 LP! It looks like Dark Souls but don't worry about that.
Pat
You are beneath my ass noise. That's where you are.
Pat
I did a little doggy paddle there for the folks at home who couldn't see.
Pat
Someone pointed out to me if you give Guts a gun he's basically just Doom guy.
Pat
My fleshy bits are awesome.
Pat
I'm completely incapable of original thought.
Pat
Now I can take my pants off because, Woolie, you can't see my penis in the dark.
Pat
Hey, can't see it in the light either.
Woolie
Imagine if you met a bunch of Smurfs. Would you be in their service as a knight to the Smurfs seeing as you'd be twice their size?
Woolie
It depends if Papa Smurf was able to fucking Kaio Ken me through a wall or not.
Pat
You just defeated Manus, the Primeval Man. What are you going to do next?
Pat
Fap.
Woolie
It's where the viewer can't see it and you look just as bad as you ever were but you're not, there's just less of you to cut out.
Pat
That might just be artistic license for not animating a giant wolf dong.
Woolie
Is Neto Dr. Gast? Find next out on our video, 'No. No he's not'.
Pat
I'll never be able to to beat the Bed of Chaos... without pants.
Pat
Skeletons don't like Bless. That's why Matt is slowly turning into a skeleton.
Pat

Those Who Invaded the World of WoolingtonEdit

Part twenty-one Vanquished by Woolington in Blighttown
Maneater Mildred (NPC) Part twenty-one Vanquished by Woolington in Blighttown
TheWoolieWatcher Part twenty-nine Slew Woolington in Sen's Fortress
TheWoolieWatcher Parts thirty, thirty-one Returned to their world
King Jeremiah (NPC) Part thirty-three Vanquished by Woolington in the Painted World of Ariamis
TheWoolieWatcher Part thirty-three Dismissed offscreen after Woolington falls to his death
Iluminatti312 Part fifty-four Slew Woolington in the Darkroot Garden
Durmtzlaff Part sixty-six Vanquished by Woolington in the Duke's Archives

Those Worlds that were Invaded by WoolingtonEdit

Lautrec the Guilty (NPC) Part thirty-eight First Invasion: Woolington killed by a mage White Phantom NPC

Second Invasion: Woolington killed by a spear-wielding White Phantom NPC

Lautrec the Guilty (NPC) Part thirty-nine First Invasion: Woolington killed by Lautrec

Second Invasion: Slain by Woolington in Anor Londo

Those Summoned By WoolingtonEdit

Solidus Part twenty-one Slain by a Dark Phantom invader
Maneater Mildred (NPC) Part twenty-four Dismissed after Woolington dies during fight with Chaos Witch Quelaag
Iron Tarkus (NPC) Part twenty-nine Defeated the Iron Golem
Knight Solaire (NPC) Part thirty-nine Killed during the fight with Ornstein and Smough
Knight Solaire (NPC) Part seventy-six Assisted in killing Gwyn, Lord of Cinder

Those Who Summoned WoolingtonEdit

No One Yet

Trivia Edit

  • The original Dark Souls episode was released during the third season of the Machinima series.
  • The title card art was made by TheMothman.
  • The music played during the intro is "Nameless Song" from Dark Souls.
  • An amazingly detailed list of everything Pat has said that is wrong throughout the playthrough can be found here, created by Redditor minorou.

Gallery Edit

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