This is an extended page of the Def Jam Fight For New York (Cryme Tyme) "About" section, showcasing the descriptions for each part of the Let's Play.
About[]
- “Did I ever tell you about the time RAGE forced me to wear a woman's bikini? Well anyway, Rage tears off my clothes and forces me to wear this skimpy bikini. For the next three months I had to conduct my business wearing only a woman's bathing suit. I would cry from shame and question my manhood daily, but Ill be damned if at the end of the quarter my sales hadn't tripled!”
- — Part one
- “Rage once breast-fed an injured Pit-bull back to health.”
- — Part two
- “They once cut open Rage's stomach to see what was inside, whereupon they found 72 dollars in change and a live boa constrictor.”
- — Part three
- “Did I ever tell you about the time RAGE took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally, Rage takes me into a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us. Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burnt the place to the ground. Rage yelled over the roar of the flames, "ALWAYS LEAVE THINGS THE WAY YOU FOUND THEM!"”
- — Part four
- “Did I ever tell you about the time I went horseback riding with Rage, but there weren't any horses around? Well, Rage throws a saddle on my back and rides me around Wyoming for three days. Well, wouldn't you know it, my stamina increases with each day and I develop tremendous leg muscles. So anyway, Rage decides to enter me in the Breeders' Cup, right, under the name Rapper's Delight. And I'm running in second place, and I'm running and I break my ankle! They’re about to shoot me. Then someone from the crowd yells out, God bless him, 'Don't shoot him, he's a human!'”
- — Part five
- “Rage wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.”
- — Part six
- “I went camping with Rage once, right? I'm in the back of a pickup with him and a live deer. Well, Rage, he grabs the deer by the antlers, looks at it and says, 'I'M RAGE! Say it!' Then he squeezes the deer in such a way that a sound comes out of its mouth -- "RAGE!" It wasn't exactly it, but it was pretty good for a deer!”
- — Part seven
- “This one time Rage got some girl pregnant and she gave birth to a delicious 16-ounce steak. The afterbirth was sauteed mushrooms!”
- — Part eight
- “I remember one time Rage went to Sea World. He was watching Shamu the whale and then Rage got splashed! So Rage screams, "I am Rage nd no beast gets me wet!" So he climbs into the tank, grabs Shamu and throws the whale into the audience, splashes him and yells, “How do you like it?!” And then damn if Rage didn’t step in there and finish the show!”
- — Part nine
- “Rage's semen can form into a liquid human – like the guy from Terminator 2.”
- — Part ten
- “Rage once punched a hole in a cow just so he could see who was coming up the road.”
- — Part eleven
- “Rage once had a four day heart attack! A day for every chamber! When doctors examined him, they said his heart was like a basketball filled with ricotta cheese.”
- — Part twelve
- “This one time I saw Rage take on an entire army of rappers, pimps, thugs, and mob bosses, right? He won a a brand new car like it WAS NOTHING. He loved a woman with a passion that few could ever understand, especially himself! And he was betrayed by someone who had gross fingers or something, all to the melodic tones of COMP. Truly, he lived a life that men can nothing but masturbate about, as they sadly will never attain such a winding path through this mortal coil called existence. TO RAGE!”
- — Part thirteen Final