Best Friends Play
L.A. Noire
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Watch this series on the website | |
Game | L.A. Noire |
Episodes | 48 |
Combined Length | 24:23:55 |
Original Run | May 4, 2017 - Aug 14, 2017 |
Controller | Woolie |
“The whole pedophilia thing in every case has been a bonus.” — Woolie
Super Best Friends Play L.A. Noire is a full Let's Play in which Matt, Pat, and Woolie have the gumption to yell at children and violently murder every criminal they meet, except the child molesters, and still sleep soundly at night, just like a morally righteous defender of the law would.
About[]
See the individual episode descriptions at the L.A. Noire (Full Let's Play) Descriptions page.
Quotes[]
- “There's a black person that got shot here, so if you find a note that says, 'I hate black people!', he can certainly pick it up and go, 'Worthless.'.”
- — Matt
- “I wouldn't be a good cop, I'd be a good Law & Order cop.”
- — Woolie
- “The Japs love sixty frames per second.”
- — Matt
- “They do. I do too.”
- — Pat
- “And fifty percent gumption. One-hundred percent reason to remember your function.”
- — Matt
- “Fiddle with all his shit.”
- — Matt
- “Just go through his pockets.”
- — Pat
- “Flick his dicky a little bit.”
- — Matt
- “Find if you can use any of his condoms.”
- — Pat
- “Look at his hands.”
- — Matt
- “Look at his butt.”
- — Pat
- “Never stop.”
- — Matt
- “Look honey, I bought you a new knife set you can fucking stab yourself with, you fucking harpy. Why'd I come home from the fucking war? I wish the war had never ended. I'd rather be shot at than eat this fucking casserole.”
- — Pat
- “It's overly cheery, so it makes you feel like creepy robots are singing it. Like, 'Everything is happy. Everything is good. Don't worry 'cause the horror's coming to kill you, if you don't know.'.”
- — Matt about 50's music
- “We have tattoos on our arms that say, 'Poochy Woof Woof'.”
- — Woolie
- “Gonna fuck a pig like a UK politician.”
- — Woolie
- “Till it explodes? In your car?”
- — Pat
- “Y'know, this is a twenty hour game. We're gonna stop doing the voice.”
- — Matt about the 40's accent
- “You think that.”
- — Pat, in a 40's accent
- “I'm sure there's some British thing we did the whole thing for.”
- — Pat
- “Well, like a Machinima episode, but that doesn't count.”
- — Matt
- “Yeah, 'cause that's real easy to cut down the parts where we're not Britishing.”
- — Pat
- “Yeah, or funny. There's a lot of that I have to cut.”
- — Matt
- “It could suck start a leaf blower.”
- — Matt
- “Something about a little boy's ass.”
- — Woolie
- “I worry about how well Woolie takes to this form of power.”
- — Pat
- “Yeah, 'cause he's usually at the other end of it.”
- — Matt
- “Once again, stealing a flag as comeuppance for butt-fucking.”
- — Woolie
- “Okay, we've got a husband who beats his wife, a wife that cheats on him, gambles their money, wants to start a business another guy and he has a suspicious amount of life insurance.”
- — Pat
- “Don't forget the death knife!”
- — Matt
- “You move faster when you're guilty.”
- — Pat
- “I hope if I die, my horrible photos get all over.”
- — Pat
- “Butthole first?”
- — Woolie
- “Yeah. This is where the explosion happened.”
- — Pat
- “So you're driving a 1947 Child-Fucker, will you?”
- — Matt
- “So, remember Punisher has crime sense?”
- — Matt
- “Geez, Matt. You were scratching your leg, I thought you were jerking your dick, for a second.”
- — Pat
- “Well I was because I was thinking about The Punisher's crime sense.”
- — Matt
- “These colors don't run. They don't give you the shits, either.”
- — Woolie about eating the American flag
- “That weird Bigfoot from GTA: San Andreas is probably around.”
- — Matt
- “Oh, yeah. I heard he killed D.B. Cooper.”
- — Pat
- “Hey bitch, why's your husband such a big raper?”
- — Pat
- “Why is your husband a dirty Gypo?”
- — Matt
- “Alright, you go down that angle all by yourself, Matt.”
- — Pat
- “Yeah, you just say raper. You go down that alley sir!”
- — Matt
- “Alright, we'll see who gets in trouble first.”
- — Pat
- “I don't wanna watch Kung Fu Panda.”
- — Pat
- “Well, that's the answer.”
- — Woolie
- “Golden doorknob, I'm allowed. I mean, LAPD.”
- — Woolie
- “'Mulder, this man was stabbed repeatedly in the back with a knife.' 'Must have been the Knife Ghost.'.”
- — Matt
- “Hey Phelps, give me the keys so I can listen to the radio while I wait for you in the car.”
- — Matt as Rusty
- “I had horrible adult face as a child.”
- — Pat
- “And now you have horrible child face.”
- — Matt
- “If I shave, yeah.”
- — Pat
- “Do you remember what Machete Man stole from my house?”
- — Woolie
- “I thought it was your sense of safety.”
- — Matt
- “A lot of vampires at Belmont High.”
- — Matt
- “Ironically.”
- — Pat
- “Just because he didn't finish doesn't mean he didn't do it.”
- — Woolie
- “L.A. Noire - Theme of Kid Touching.”
- — Woolie
- “Man, there's a lot of kid touching in this game. Way more than zero.”
- — Woolie
- “Well you're in L.A. so, yeah.”
- — Pat
- “I was gonna leave it to L.A. and then you decided to upgrade my shade throw to the entire West Coast.”
- — Pat
- “Oh. I almost didn't read the word 'shoe', and, uh...”
- — Woolie about "The White Shoe Slaying"
- “Got a little excited?”
- — Pat
- “I mean, excited is not the word really.”
- — Woolie
- “Hopeful.”
- — Matt
- “I 'll pull out whatever I want. It's up to the cops to stop me.”
- — Pat
- “I know, but black people are often times just white people with different colored skin. In video games.”
- — Woolie
- “That's the pose of a necrophiliac.”
- — Matt
- “I understand you love your job but you're not like, the fucking righteous sword of the archangel Michael here.”
- — Pat about Captain Donnelly
- “What's a warrant?”
- — Woolie
- “It's a thing those pussy bureaucrats keep telling me I need.”
- — Pat
- “Yo man, you're fucking lucky that the other guy is way more guilty than you.”
- — Matt
- “You think you're so smart, guy who fooled us five times.”
- — Matt
- “You almost tricked me, idiot.”
- — Woolie
- “Why would they design it to be like fucking Shrine of Amana? Why would they Dark Souls this?”
- — Woolie about the tar pit
- “It's like jelly, man. It's really old.”
- — Pat about tar
- “What did he say there that pissed him off?”
- — Woolie
- “Who cares about two dead junkies?”
- — Pat
- “Oh my god, can someone else play?”
- — Woolie
- “Hanging black people.”
- — Woolie
- “Woolie, you're getting into this.”
- — Pat
- “I'm usually the one driving the bus.”
- — Woolie
- “You're usually driving the bus but now you're in the back?”
- — Pat
- “♫ Drugs, drugs, drugs. All are good. All are good. Drugs, drugs, drugs. ♫”
- — Woolie
- “I let those kids get fucked and it worked for your career. Aren't I a hero to you, Cole?”
- — Pat as Roy
- “I need to be able to shitpost with my mouth all day.”
- — Pat
- “He died with a can of soup in his hand?”
- — Pat
- “The eternal dab of death.”
- — Woolie
- “I combo broke my own memory.”
- — Woolie
- “The Sears catalogue, a.k.a the Forties spank bank.”
- — Woolie
- “Michael Jackson died because he had too much anesthetic in his butt?”
- — Pat
- “Hey, when I'm dead, besmirch my name immediately, as fast as you can.”
- — Pat
- “What's that cigarette brand that supposedly all black people smoke?”
- — Woolie
- “Menthols?”
- — Pat
- “That's the one. Missed opportunity.”
- — Woolie
- “It's not so much a brand as it is a type. Why do black people love menthols so much?”
- — Pat
- “I don't know. We should ask a black person.”
- — Matt
- “Woolie, do you know any black people we could ask?”
- — Pat
- “Go fuck yourself, how about that?”
- — Woolie
- “I'm gonna go wank think about a dead lady. Later, chaps!”
- — Woolie
- “Morphine? More like Less-phine.”
- — Woolie
- “Roy will just go play the horsies and then beat up the horse that makes him lose.”
- — Pat
- “Can you guys burn me in effigy when I die?”
- — Pat
- “Of you or of something you hate?”
- — Matt
- “Of me.”
- — Pat
- “What does that do?”
- — Matt
- “You pretend like I was an evil guy or whatever.”
- — Pat
- “Pretend?”
- — Matt
- “Source Filmmaker has much better production quality than the Berserk anime.”
- — Pat
- “Hey Woolie, me and you, okay, I'll get a bike, you get a bike, right? I'll steal your bike, then you steal my bike and we'll report the bikes as stolen, get the bike insurance, and then we'll each have a bike and enough money to buy a bike.”
- — Pat
- “And then what do we do with those bikes?”
- — Woolie
- “Bike.”
- — Pat
- “I thought we should steal them again.”
- — Woolie
- “Yeah, 'cause I heard you talking the other day about how much you like Baiken.”
- — Pat
- “That was... horrible. You should feel bad.”
- — Woolie
- “The Photoshop burn tool is gonna get a while lotta mileage out of this section of the game.”
- — Woolie
- “I thought I was working with professionals.”
- — Matt
- “You never thought that you fucking lying piece of shit.”
- — Pat
- “Nothing turns you on like fucking the villains of the world.”
- — Woolie
- “That's why Woolie regularly masturbates to explanations of how the dragons in Reign of Fire work.”
- — Matt
- “To be fair, it's just because it's the only time I've seen someone think about that more than not at all, and that's worth...”
- — Woolie
- “Masturbating to!”
- — Matt
- “No, no, I spit. Who's putting the tongue in anything?”
- — Matt
- “Isn't it a bit premature to abort this conversation? Ol' Woolie, with the conversation coathanger again.”
- — Pat
- “Well I say if the CN Tower's on fire, you just let that eyesore burn down.”
- — Pat
- “Crispy battered babies. Tempura.”
- — Woolie
- “How could a car do that?”
- — Matt
- “That's crazy, did you see that? Did you see that magical car turn?”
- — Pat
- “Why would Herschel's wife be sitting around shitting in a diaper? Answer my fucking question!”
- — Pat to Woolie
- “I have a highly specific question. What is the age of old that Woolie believes that becomes diaper shit time? Is that sixty-five? Is that the time?”
- — Pat
- “He's got a hat and a shaved head and he's a white man, and he's wearing jeans and a jacket.”
- — Woolie
- “That could describe literally anyone in this room.”
- — Pat
- “...”
- — All
- “I'm not wearing a hat.”
- — Woolie
- “A broom and a dust bin do not an autopsy make.”
- — Pat
- “Who would shoot at an ambulance with a gun?”
- — Pat
- “We don't know because we're not gonna go help.”
- — Matt
- “Which car do you guys like?”
- — Woolie
- “How about not a slow ass piece of shit?”
- — Matt
- “Slow ass piece of shit it is.”
- — Woolie
- “Cool.”
- — Matt
- “Fuck you, Woolie.”
- — Pat
- “The whole pedophilia thing in every case has been a bonus.”
- — Woolie
- “Is this librarian gonna clothesline me from behind the bookshelf?”
- — Woolie
- “Courtney, you are stupid and cursed. A bad combination.”
- — Pat
- “It's gonna happen. All the photos with your dick in children.”
- — Woolie
- “Those are bad photos to have.”
- — Pat
- “Yeah, Woolie, what the fuck was that?”
- — Matt
- “Scream in the woman's face like you're playing Melee and you need someone to drop their combo.”
- — Pat
- “I thought you were gonna say scream like you're playing Melee and you need your mom to pick you up from the fucking center when you're done playing Melee.”
- — Matt
- “I would never touch myself in a Time Cop style scenario. What reason do I ... oh, I'd high-five myself and die. That's what I'd do.”
- — Pat
- “Cars kill thousands of people a year, you should arrest a few.”
- — Matt
- “Tell me more about the doggy sleepy breads from Grenada.”
- — Pat
- “In a court of law you can't say, 'I did it because of the purity crazy reasons.'.”
- — Matt
- “How come their cars are so light compared to your car? Is it heavy with your morality?”
- — Pat
- “Up until that KI check comes in, you're very nervous, but then you have the KI check.”
- — Pat
- “It still hasn't cleared.”
- — Matt
- “Redevelopment plan. Matt needs morphine.”
- — Woolie
Trivia[]
- The intro was made by Mothman.
- The music used for the title card is "Main Theme" from L.A. Noire.
- The original L.A. Noire episode was released during the second season of the Machinima series