This is an extended page of the Killer Instinct: Shadow Lords "About" section, showcasing the descriptions for each part of the Let's Play.


Thunder's story, tl;dr version: Hinmatoom and his bro Eagle are a bunch of varsity frat boys. One day they sniff peyote and trip balls. Toom sees SOME SHIT and says fuck football I wanna teach Indian history in college. Eagle wakes from his OD suuuuper fucked up, so bad that he won't talk about it, but he's suddenly obsessed with UFC. Anyway, Eagle enters an MMA tournament and dies like an idiot, and this company Ultratech takes his body. Also their parents got shot for being on private property before this. Anyway, Hinmatoom gets shitfaced one night and crashes his car into Ultratech's property and beats random people up and gets super arrested. When he gets out he snorts more peyote and drives away on his bike. He forgets to eat for a week and starts seeing shit so hard, that he wakes up, dumps a bucket of black paint on his head and starts calling himself Thunder. He gets into a fight with a robot that reminds him of his brother, then he fights a rock demon and accidentally frees it from mind control, so they become BFFs, and before he knows it, he's off to kill some old guy because the pile of rocks told him to. Maybe one day he'll find out the truth, or maybe he'll forget all about it and fight a big dumb gargoyle instead.
— Part one
Hisako's story, tl;dr version: Chihiro's dad had one job, to project his Shogun's life, and he failed super hard. Instead of dying in battle bravely like the rest of the samurai, he backed down HARD, and hid in a village until he got laid and started a family. One day a handsome prince asked Chihiro to marry him, so she beat the shit out of him, kicked him in the balls, shat in his boots and stole his beads. She's pretty clumsy, so sometime later she ripped her kimono on bamboo while dicking around instead of farming like the other hard workers in her village. While she continued said dickery, the prince and his buddies said fuck this shit and wrecked the village, even though it was all Chihiro's fault. She killed a bunch of them for a while, then she poked the prince with sneaky poison, then got tired and died. Her village marked the ground where she died as 'the place where that dumb girl got us all killed' and changed her name to Hisako. So she hung around like a zombie or whatever, until this robot CEO learns about japanese ghosts, and shows up and starts trashing Hisako's grave SUPER hard. Like doing keg stands on the urn and shit. Hisako gets pissed and goes after some spider lady, then her ghost dad appears to her(who too is also a ghost) and tells her to stop being lazy, get out of the house and fight this big dumb gargoyle.
— Part two
Tyler-Johnson Garrett is a fraud from Texas, who, despite his dad's lessons about hard work and the value of a dollar, LOVED cheating super hard. He got his first ass beating at 12 in the boxing ring. His dad explained that life wasn't about winning, but losing and keeping on- WHATEVER, TJ couldn't give a crap. Sorry old man, I couldn't hear you over the sound of me getting my revenge on that kid with a roll of quarters. The feeling of putting a preteen in a coma got TJ high, and he vowed that day to never not cheat again. Fast forward to him as an adult, kicked out of the army for punching a superior for NO REASON, he became a Chi-town hobo because big new city means big new opportunities for big new cheats. After scumming his way to the top with footstomps, headbutts, earbites and ballcrunches, he became a shitty millionaire with a shitty wife and shitty house with shitty friends that all wanted his cheat money. One day, at a fight when he was cheating his hardest, an honest boxer wrecked his shit, and TJ 's wife and manager left him. Hungrier than ever for new cheats, Ultratech offered to give him roboarms. The speed at which TJ sold out was unknown even to himself, but the next thing he remembered is holding the champ belt. The Ultratech ordered him to lose to a dumb robot and he said no, so they exposed his cheating balls on stream, hard, for the world to see at With nothing left in his life to turn to, TJ ripped out his roboarms and finally found a home, joining an insane conspiracy nut living in the south american jungle, and her crazy cult obsessed with fighting dinosaurs and a big dumb gargoyle.
— Part three
Orchid TRUE FACTS: Did you know? -orchid is the coolest and strongest and bestest super powered international martial arts super spy and also the chosen one, you can't even beat her< -her dad was a member of seal team six and totally shot bin laden -one time I saw her get so mad as a kid that she burned down her school with her inherited stand firecat and oh by the way she has a stand (rating:A/A/A/A/A/A) -her granny had firecat too because they made her dna super strong for world war 2 -dad taught her to kill ANYONE ANYTIME HARD with just 2 sticks phillipino style -she can run for a whole day nonstop no shutup i swear -she can shoot the corner off a playing card 500 meters away with her lvl1 borutogan, especially if shes super mad -shes a super survivor they lived in a cabin alone until they found them and sent dad back to war and he ded -she got SUPER PISSED and bacame even more stronger -but her secret is shes always angry shhh dont tell any1 -she was alone on the streets for a while but the US military saw her one day and could tell how cool/strong she was so she got a job in the highlest secret levl of homeland security RIGHT AWAY</br> -she knows all the secret killing techniques -she can do the cool skydive and pose just like big boss -she can speak russian and chinese PERFECTLY like they would never even tell it was her -one day she got a secret journal it was from her dad!!! it said she had a long lost brother that was also a main character with a fireball and hes super strong too -her dads name was jacob - but when you pronounce it bad it sounds like...JAGO!!! omg wow its destiny -shes so smart she was the first one to find out ultratechs evil robot and alien spaceship SECRETS! she went undercover with a lab coat they had no idea<br /> -she blew up ultratech and didnt even LOOK at the explosion then ---she went into hiding and used the all the science she took from them to make unblockable electric power batons<br /> -ultratech got SUPER PISSED and killed all her friends =( -then she made new better friends like a monster hunter and a mma fratboy and a black guy, and they were way strong too -lol ultratech killing her friends just made her get a better squad -one time she unveiled her true power and became BLACK ORCHID -one she was about to kill HER BROTHER! but then she saw he had borutogan too! -TOGETHER WITH ALL HER FRIENDS SHE'S GONNA FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT HER FATHER/FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT JAGO'S POWER/FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT ULTRATECH ROBOT CEO AND ALIEN SPACESHIP/AVENGE HER DEAD NATIVE FRIEND THAT BECAME A ROBOT/STOP AN ARMY OF DINOSAURS/BEAT UP THAT BIG DUMB GARGOYLE!!!!!1
— Part four Final

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