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Best Friends Play

L.A. Noire

L.A. Noire Full LP Title
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Game L.A. Noire
Original Run May 4, 2016 -
Controller Woolie
“I wish the war had never ended. I'd rather be shot at than eat this fucking casserole.” — Pat


Super Best Friends Play L.A. Noire is a full Let's Play in which Matt, Pat, and Woolie have the gumption to violently murder every criminal they meet, except the child molesters, and still sleep soundly at night, just like a morally righteous defender of the law would.


AboutEdit

— Website description

See the individual episode descriptions at the L.A. Noire (Full Let's Play) Descriptions page.

Quotes Edit

There's a black person that got shot here, so if you find a note that says, 'I hate black people!', he can certainly pick it up and go, 'Worthless.'.
Matt
I wouldn't be a good cop, I'd be a good Law & Order cop.
Woolie
The Japs love sixty frames per second.
Matt
They do. I do too.
Pat
And fifty percent gumption. One-hundred percent reason to remember your function.
Matt
Fiddle with all his shit.
Matt
Just go through his pockets.
Pat
Flick his dicky a little bit.
Matt
Find if you can use any of his condoms.
Pat
Look at his hands.
Matt
Look at his butt.
Pat
Never stop.
Matt
Look honey, I bought you a new knife set you can fucking stab yourself with, you fucking harpy. Why'd I come home from the fucking war? I wish the war had never ended. I'd rather be shot at than eat this fucking casserole.
Pat
It's overly cheery, so it makes you feel like creepy robots are singing it. Like, 'Everything is happy. Everything is good. Don't worry 'cause the horror's coming to kill you, if you don't know.'.
Matt about 50's music
We have tattoos on our arms that say, 'Poochy Woof Woof'.
Woolie
Gonna fuck a pig like a UK politician.
Woolie
Till it explodes? In your car?
Pat
Y'know, this is a twenty hour game. We're gonna stop doing the voice.
Matt about the 40's accent
You think that.
Pat, in a 40's accent
I'm sure there's some British thing we did the whole thing for.
Pat
Well, like a Machinima episode, but that doesn't count.
Matt
Yeah, 'cause that's real easy to cut down the parts where we're not Britishing.
Pat
Yeah, or funny. There's a lot of that I have to cut.
Matt
It could suck start a leaf blower.
Matt
Something about a little boy's ass.
Woolie
I worry about how well Woolie takes to this form of power.
Pat
Yeah, 'cause he's usually at the other end of it.
Matt
Once again, stealing a flag as comeuppance for butt-fucking.
Woolie
Okay, we've got a husband who beats his wife, a wife that cheats on him, gambles their money, wants to start a business another guy and he has a suspicious amount of life insurance.
Pat
Don't forget the death knife!
Matt
You move faster when you're guilty.
Pat
I hope if I die, my horrible photos get all over.
Pat
Butthole first?
Woolie
Yeah. This is where the explosion happened.
Pat
So you're driving a 1947 Child-Fucker, will you?
Matt
So, remember Punisher has crime sense?
Matt
Geez, Matt. You were scratching your leg, I thought you were jerking your dick, for a second.
Pat
Well I was because I was thinking about The Punisher's crime sense.
Matt
These colors don't run. They don't give you the shits, either.
Woolie about eating the American flag
That weird Bigfoot from GTA: San Andreas is probably around.
Matt
Oh, yeah. I heard he killed D.B. Cooper.
Pat
Hey bitch, why's your husband such a big raper?
Pat
Why is your husband a dirty Gypo?
Matt
Alright, you go down that angle all by yourself, Matt.
Pat
Yeah, you just say raper. You go down that alley sir!
Matt
Alright, we'll see who gets in trouble first.
Pat
I don't wanna watch Kung Fu Panda.
Pat
Well, that's the answer.
Woolie
Golden doorknob, I'm allowed. I mean, LAPD.
Woolie
“'Mulder, this man was stabbed repeatedly in the back with a knife.' 'Must have been the Knife Ghost.'.
Matt
Hey Phelps, give me the keys so I can listen to the radio while I wait for you in the car.
Matt as Rusty
I had horrible adult face as a child.
Pat
And now you have horrible child face.
Matt
If I shave, yeah.
Pat
Do you remember what Machete Man stole from my house?
Woolie
I thought it was your sense of safety.
Matt
A lot of vampires at Belmont High.
Matt
Ironically.
Pat
Just because he didn't finish doesn't mean he didn't do it.
Woolie
L.A. Noire - Theme of Kid Touching.
Woolie
Man, there's a lot of kid touching in this game. Way more than zero.
Woolie
Well you're in L.A. so, yeah.
Pat
I was gonna leave it to L.A. and then you decided to upgrade my shade throw to the entire West Coast.
Pat
Oh. I almost didn't read the word 'shoe', and, uh...
Woolie about "The White Shoe Slaying"
Got a little excited?
Pat
I mean, excited is not the word really.
Woolie
Hopeful.
Matt
I 'll pull out whatever I want. It's up to the cops to stop me.
Pat
I know, but black people are often times just white people with different colored skin. In video games.
Woolie
That's the pose of a necrophiliac.
Matt
I understand you love your job but you're not like, the fucking righteous sword of the archangel Michael here.
Pat about Captain Donnelly
What's a warrant?
Woolie
It's a thing those pussy bureaucrats keep telling me I need.
Pat
Yo man, you're fucking lucky that the other guy is way more guilty than you.
Matt
You think you're so smart, guy who fooled us five times.
Matt
You almost tricked me, idiot.
Woolie
Why would they design it to be like fucking Shrine of Amana? Why would they Dark Souls this?
Woolie about the tar pit
It's like jelly, man. It's really old.
Pat about tar

Trivia Edit

  • The intro was made by Mothman.
  • The music used for the title card is "Main Theme" from L.A. Noire.
  • The original L.A. Noire episode was released during the second season of the Machinima series

Gallery Edit

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