Two Best Friends Play:

Lightning Returns

Lightning Returns Final Fantasy XIII Title Card
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Game Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
Season 8
Episode 16
Length 15:09
Upload Date Feb 16, 2014
Controller Pat
Previous Robocop
Next Earth Defense Force 2025
“Of all my waifus, Lightning is not one.” — Matt

Final Fantasy is Dead! - Lightning Returns - Two Best Friends Play is a Machinima episode in which Matt and Pat slide down poles, talk to Otacon, investigate murders, and take on the role of the hero Final Fantasy deserves.

About Edit

Are you guys saying, "BOO" or "BOO-LIGHTNING?"
— Video description
— Website description

Intro Edit

The intro animation starts with a trailer for Lightning Returns, showing off the copious amounts of clothing DLC. It then cuts to the Best Friends apartment, where two copies of Lightning are wearing Matt and Pat's clothes, revealing themselves to be more DLC. An ad pops up on the screen showing off a "Lightning the Liar" figurine, styled after Woolie.

Quotes Edit

If five years ago, you told me I'd be starting a mainline Final Fantasy game and would be fucking saying the words 'Facebook' on the main menu, I'd tell you to go kill yourself.
— Matt
Remember when I had that whole game where I was on the cover and I wasn't in the game at all?
— Pat, as Lightning
What a quality video game.
— Pat
The more Final Fantasy becomes the Mummy Returns, the more I'm down with it.
— Matt
It doesn't feel so bad so much now that I can play it and don't have to listen to Lightning just yap her fucking mouth.
— Pat
I just want her to win a battle and say "Mo' money, mo' problems."
— Matt
Of all my waifus, Lightning is not one.
— Matt
Remember kids, dance on the pole.
— Matt
I'm gonna bone so many diseased people.
— Pat
Twenty-five jobs splashing into my face, like I always wanted.
— Pat


  • At 1:35, the viewer can see that the footage for this video was recorded on February 12, 2014.
  • In part twenty of the Yakuza 4 playthrough, Pat lets slip that that episode was filmed about ten minutes after Lightning Returns.
  • According to Pat in twenty-eight of the Super Best Friendcast, High Tension, High Stakes Brazillian Pog Butts, he and Matt recorded about an hour's worth of footage for this Machinima episode. After that hour, Pat concluded that the game was absolutely terrible, mostly because of how terrible of a character Lightning is. He later admits that despite finding the battle system somewhat enjoyable, he was completely incapable of getting past his hatred of Lightning.

Gallery Edit

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