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Super Best Friends

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

Phantom Pain Title 2
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Game Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
Episodes 45
Combined Length 28:34:16
Original Run Sep 3, 2015 - Nov 28, 2015
Controller Liam
“Welcome to a hundred episodes of 'Holy shit Liam, slow down. No.'.” — Pat

Super Best Friends Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain is a full Let's Play in which Matt, Pat, Woolie, and Liam play a Hideo Kojima game like a goddamn fiddle until Matt and Woolie ditch the LP in order to play the game at home, leaving Liam and Pat to salvage its remains.

About[]

Why do we play this game? Just to suffer?
— Website description

See the individual episode descriptions at the Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain Descriptions page.

Quotes[]

So get out, go play Metal Gear Ac!d, because it's gonna get spoiled.
Liam
If you haven't played five games prior to this, then why are you here?
Woolie
Think about their point of view. 'Go take out that dude in a coma.' She comes flying out the building on fire. 'That’s the Boss alright!'
Woolie
Greatest soldier of all time.
Pat
Chemicals can't melt Quiet... beams.
Liam
All you've been doing for ten years is pumping iron. You've been in a pumping iron coma.
Liam
And now it's time for you to be pumping me.
Pat
Said Hitler?
Matt
Like, ghosts are tough, but I'm pretty sure the army could kill one.
Matt
You can take your chances with him or Magician's Red.
Woolie
You scared them off with your cowardice.
Matt
Good for the people who have no idea what he's taking about.
Pat
Yeah, I know, eh? 'This is my first Metal Gear Solid, will I be okay?'.
Liam
Kaz, I'm going to occasionally Fastball Special you.
Liam
Welcome to a hundred episodes of 'Holy shit Liam, slow down. No.'.
Pat
I'll take eighteen-hundred hours.
Liam
That's six p.m. for all you people that don't have clocks.
Pat
You gun jump and gun jump and gun jump, and you're standing on the gun and the gun explodes underneath you, and you're fine. You're always fine, and you never actually fail. It's infuriating.
Pat
“'I want each of these shrubs to be different!', 'Kojima, that's crazy.', 'I know!'.
Pat
Matt just sent me a multi-media message. I don't know what the fuck that is.
Pat
It's a picture of his dick.
Liam
I really hope it's a picture of his dick. That would be very embarrassing.
Pat
Paz, for fuck's sake, can be Decoy Octopus.
Pat
We need to get all the soldiers to stop wanting me to beat their ass.
Liam
I want stinky Snake to be like, a considerable threat to your missions. Like morale goes down and eventually, if you get it too stinky, Ocelot's like 'fuck you'.
Pat
Even Russians have to go poop.
Pat
Just because it's silenced doesn't mean they don't recognize that bullets are flying.
Pat
You'd think they'd be like, 'Stop shooting. Yuri, Yuri is in arms.'.
Liam
“'No, no. Shoot Yuri more. He's a dick. He fucked your sister.'.
Pat
I'm not fighting you but I'm still doing it anyway.
Liam
All the cyborg ninjas were inspired by D-Horse.
Liam
This really messes with my theory that you're not playing as Big Boss.
Pat
The natural evolution of going too far is to go too far again.
Pat
Ah Yuri, fall asleep now again. Are you tired from fucking my sister? I tell you, she's beast. You can't handle.
Pat
I wish Sagat had an alternate costume with a second eye patch.
Liam
Pat's mating call. 'I need to get stinky. I need to get real stinky in here.
Liam
Are there any benefits to you being naked here?
Pat
This was the Joy's true vision, a platform where guards enjoy being beaten up.
Liam
Ocelot, how'd you get so good at training dogs? Aren't you a cat? Aren't you a cat-man?
Pat
It's no Dark Souls! We have someone good playing the game.
Pat
Ooooh. Ooooh. That's dry.
Liam
No it's not. It's wet. It's the wettest. It's dripping.
Pat
I guess that would be a good description of Woolie.
Liam
Ohhh. The Legend Killer pose.
Liam
I do not condone torture, unless it's Huey because he's an ass.
Pat
He's not an ass though, he just made a mistake... and then made Soviet weaponry for nine years.
Liam
Nine out of sixteen is exactly half. Dogs have arms, California doesn't have trees...
Pat
California isn't even real.
Liam
You wanna take a look at my hardcore asshole?
Liam
Too many Yuris. That means a different thing depending on what part of the world you're in.
Pat
Boss, your prosthetic arm should be able to replicate their dialect perfectly.
Liam
Nature finds a way.
Liam
I don't know. That's what people say and then the platypus happens.
Pat
Just throw a bunch of sperm on the controller and it will beat Mario RPG.
Pat
I am willing to admit when I do bad.
Liam
I am also willing to admit. Which is great because it's often.
Pat
Gun Survivor was too pure for this world.
Liam
I have my other games I can play for games. I want my geo-political, nonsense, soap opera.
Pat
My relatively poor pronunciation does not seem to have the ability to be stopped.
Pat
I can confirm, working with you guys for years now, that morale does go down when showers do not happen.
Pat
Hey, who wants to come down to Pat's Pad Party Pat Party?
Pat
Nobody.
Liam
Ow.
Pat
I will use my cyborg arm and 'Go-Go-Gadget Kick-Your-Ass'.
Liam
If you hug your children you're implying that they have value besides the nebulous child labor shenanigans you have going on in your basement.
Pat
Shouganai? Yeah. What a good, cultural version of 'Aw fuck it.'.
Pat
You ever go to a party and there's just a bowl of jeeps on the table and you're like, 'Well, shit.'?
Liam
Don't touch it!
Pat
With your robot hand. Don't lick it, Boss!
Liam
Did you make me piss my pants? I can't even tell.
Pat
Her age is set to ninety-nine I guess.
Pat
I can stop you if I want.
Pat
What are you gonna do?
Liam
Slap your wiener.
Pat
That'll stop me.
Liam
I think you're completely wrong and I resent your opinion.
Pat
God, if we get into this mission and someone knocks on the door, and it's a FedEx man, and we open the letter and it's like, 'Someone's attacking your FOB. From Konami.'.
Liam
Why do I have to make puns all day?
Pat
Why can't you control it?
Liam
I'm like fucking Dark Phoenix over here.
Pat
Let's knife fight a baby.
Pat
And win.
Liam
This game was made, written, and directed Hideo Kojima. A whole lot less of that writing this time, 'eh buddy?
Pat
Can you just fuck off back to Legoland for a minute?
Liam
If you think that joke is terrible, you're watching this show.
Pat
We have to go to EVO and stick horseporn .com stickers to the monitors.
Liam
I'm Code Talker and I only speak in braille.
Liam
Yeah, there you go. Get that decrepit ass shot.
Liam
I don't understand why hats are measured in fluid ounces.
Pat
Hard racism is the new face of this playthrough.
Liam
Old Man Jeeves just happened to die when I hugged him and he exploded and his ribs fell out.
Pat
Eskimo kisses for revenge.
Pat
Such a lust for S ranks.
Liam
Hey Mantis.
Pat
Speak. Do you like Castlevania.
Liam
Their nose was a cut-out operation for Cipher.
Pat
Super Best Friends, why are you so sexist?
Liam
Because it's fun.
Pat
There's no emotions when you're buttering your pooper.
Pat
Pequod, I thought you were dead.
Pat
That's the replacement Pequod. Les Enfants Terribles Pequod.
Liam
I'm not a fucking shadowmatician.
[[Liam|[src]]]
Non-stop, infinite vacation thanks to Konami.
Liam
Please don't come into my house and poop. Anyone. Ever. Even in the toilet.
Pat
Unless I don't know how English works.
Liam
It's possible you don't.
Pat
Eat your hamburgers, Code Talker.
Pat
There's no vocal cord parasite for dog noises and that's why DMX will totally survive the vocal cord infestation.
Pat
No one man can create Doritos.
Liam
Makes sense that Boss is such an asshole since he's obviously... Raiden.
Pat
You did it all in one draft?
Pat
How did you do that, Alan-Kojima?
Liam
He's all retired and shit. And dead, also.
Pat
D-Horse is a strong independent horse that don't need no Boss.
Pat
I can't wait for the new Gunpei game. Gunpei Yokoi's been on vacation for awhile.
Pat
Last of Us exists in an alternate universe where Snake didn't do this.
Liam
Dump the plot on me.
Pat
Dump it all over my chest.
Liam
There's no language parasite for Quebec French!
Pat
Navabros before Navajos.
Pat
I hope there's a tape that explains the events of Metal Gear Ac!d.
Liam

Trivia[]

  • The title card was made by Mothman.
  • The first two parts of this LP featured all of the Zaibatsu members, but all subsequent parts contained only Pat and Liam. The reason for that is pretty vague, but the average fan may guess that the hype for the game was too much to handle recording 4 grown men.
  • The music used for the intro and outro of part three is "The Best Has Yet to Come" from Metal Gear Solid.

Gallery[]

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