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Best Friends "Play"

Minecraft: Story Mode

Minecraft Story Mode Title
Watch this series on the website

Watch this series on YouTube

Game Minecraft: Story Mode
Original Run Mar 6, 2016 -
Controller Pat (when necessary)
“You can't breast feed through a Spider-Man costume.” — Woolie


Minecraft: Story Mode is a full failthrough in which Pat and Woolie talk about everything but Minecraft. Topics include butt-chugging, sushi and California rolls, Dualshock 4 vs Xbox Elite controllers, For Honor videos, eating babies, Naruto Pain Olympics, and dying inside.

Different fail states discovered: 18


AboutEdit

“'
— Playlist description

See the individual episode descriptions at the Minecraft Story Mode Descriptions page.

Quotes Edit

I wanna point that uh, if you don't like LP, it was Woolie's idea.
Pat
Let blocky Jesus take the wheel.
Pat
Can you get the pig super fucked up by the end of this? By part five he's missing a leg and half roasted?
Woolie
Never once, in the history of anything, has Jimmy been cool.
Woolie
This is not an LP; this is just fuckin' commentary about the channel and about life.
Woolie
I bet you can't shove this whole bottle up your ass and drink this whole bottle in your anus.
Pat
That's a little violent for children, isn't it? Go back to the butt chugging.
Pat
I'm gonna shove this weed up my ass.
Pat
Man, Kenny was such a bro in episode one. Remember he saved you? Remember how fucking awesome that was? It was great.
Pat
Do you really wanna go back down this road?
Woolie
You showed me the Skeletor GIF and you got Jonh Cena'd.
Woolie
I don't think we should be doing this.
Woolie
If you wanna have your question read in an LP, send your email to minecraftsucksidon'tcarewhatyouthink@noforrealminecraftsucksshit.com
Pat
Maybe I shouldn't have taken my pants off with my dick on fire and spun around going, 'I'm the hero of time!'.
Pat
I think this is hilarious, but you know what else was hilarious? Blazblue.
Woolie
*Drawn out sigh*
Pat
My problem is I can't stand the taste of ginger.
Pat
Ahhhh, ironic.
Woolie
I fucking hate... life. My dick hurts because of the nail I'm pounding through it.
Pat
Hey, quickly. You're watching this minimized, click back over to the video! Watch, watch! ... Ah, gotcha. Nothing's happening.
Woolie
I really hope YouTube never implements a feature that like...
Pat
Let's you minimize?
Woolie
No, no. I hope they never implement a feature that views don't count if it's not fullscreen.
Pat
Oh my god! We're dead! We're dead! Our fucking lineage is ended and our lives are over.
Woolie
Woolie, I am about to burst into tears.
Pat
I'm not under the impression that migraines run in the family at all.
Woolie
They do.
Pat
Yeah, so they have to. But I just don't, y'know, I mean, like, I've never heard anyone else in my family talk about it.
Woolie
Guess you got lucky. Alternatively, people in your family may have interpreted it as an attack by Satan.
Pat
I was excited because I was like, Elmo's here. I can pet Elmo, but it was a pillow.
Pat
So something I really didn't like was when someone in the family got a job and was...
Woolie
Yeah, jeez, you can't have that.
Pat
As my mike in syncing, I'm contemplating sinking with it.
Woolie
Stay with me. Someone out there is getting something out of this.
Woolie
Let's not start pointing fingers.
Woolie
I'm pointing fingers at God right now.
Pat
Pat, the point I'm getting at is that you're sitting here for the same reason Patton Oswalt is in this game.
Woolie
No. I have my dignity.
Pat
If I had an anime based on my life, I'd want it to be called, 'A Coward's Way Out'.
Pat
There's no analogy because we're already real, so you can't design a skull that looks more real than out skulls.
Woolie
You okay over there, Jaden?
Pat
Isn't TNT just dynamite?
Pat
No. TNT's not dynamite. A stick of dynamite is something else entirely.
Woolie
Are you serious? Are you for real?
Pat
Yeah. Dynamite is lead and nitroglycerine.
Woolie
That's what I thought TNT was. Then what the fuck is TNT? ♫ It's TNT. It's dynamite. ♫
Pat
Is there a YouTube channel out there that just does highly informative breakdowns of dildo reviews?
Pat
Search deep within me, what did I find? Corn.
Pat
If you're new to the channel, and you've never watched the Minecraft LP..
Woolie
Go watch a different video first.
Pat
Then keep doing that.
Woolie
Minecraft or Emoji Movie? Because Minecraft kills the soul but Emoji Movie...
Woolie
Here's my logic on why Minecraft is better than the Emoji Movie. Minecraft has value. There is value on this Earth, to Minecraft.
Pat
Let me make A Modest Proposal to you. Okay, so we've established the eating of meat is separate from morality?
Pat
Yes.
Woolie
So what about them babies?
Pat
There's a lot of problems with eating a baby, besides the obvious, is all I'm trying to say. I don't know, I think we're doing a bad job.
Woolie
Like you and me, or like, humans?
Pat
Don't superglue your dick. I don't know.
Pat
You're crazier than Pat! Think about that, motherfuckers.
Pat about people who hate fish
All I'm saying is, I'm thinking of starting to shoot heroin, to get over my sugar addiction.
Pat
What's the thing? What do you do here?
Woolie
I don't know! Do you think I listened? You son of a bitch.
Pat
You fucking mother fucker, what did you do? Did you take your dick out and have it talk to the microphone?
Pat
Take off your panties and shit on the floor is actually good advice.
Woolie
You can't breast feed through a Spider-Man costume.
Woolie
How do you make a successful web comic? Start in 2007.
Woolie
If god wasn't into it, he wouldn't have made furries.
Pat
There's not a description in there like, 'Oh. I accidentally killed a hooker!'.
Pat about Billy's descriptions

TriviaEdit

  • The thumbnail art was made by CrankyConstruct.
  • The intro animation for Episode 2 (Part five) was made by [akuda-bar.tumblr.com Akuda-Bar].
  • Part twelve has an alternate video entitled Best Friends ASMR Minecraft Story Mode (Part 12) in which all the game audio is removed and you only hear Pat and Woolie's commentary.

GalleryEdit

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