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Parasite Eve

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Parasite Eve

Parasite Eve Title
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Game Parasite Eve
Episodes 27
Combined Length 12:49:35
Original Run Jan 19, 2015 - Mar 25, 2015
Controller Woolie

Pat (end of part twenty-seven)

“Did you ever think we'd ever play a game in which the phrase 'all this sperm is getting me so hot' is even somewhat appropriate?” — Pat


Best Friends Play Parasite Eve is a full Let's Play in which Pat and Woolie battle Mother Nature and her army of mitochondria.

AboutEdit

Aya Breakowski, fresh faced beat cop of the NYPD, is feeling HOT.
— Website description

See the individual episode descriptions at the Parasite Eve Descriptions page.

Quotes Edit

Hey girl, why you wanna come to the opera and then be all like, 'Meeenh'?
Pat
This game is going to say the word mitochondria more than anything you have ever read in your entire goddamn life.
Pat
Mother Nature doesn't take long to level up, man.
Woolie
Cartofographer? That's when you only draw maps when you can't see anything because there's too much fog?
Pat
I feel like we should badly voice act the bad writing.
Pat
She's Cloud in a dress!
Pat
Hey, you want bad accents in your Let's Plays? Well here you fucking go!
Pat
Hey man, you need to be fifteen to pilot a Gundam... and we all know when you turn twenty you lose your Persona.
Woolie
I'll have you working in the file room for this, Aya!
Woolie
There's no mitochondria in there!
Pat
I'd be like, "Yeah, fine. Fucking shove the tube up my ass and make me Eddie Murphy."
Pat
Dead parents, not very useful.
Pat
It's Parasite Eve, not Parasite Steve!
Pat
In this it's like, what if you're in the tiger cage and the tiger has a gun?
Pat
I would not put a pass at having a mitochondria Mike Tyson fight.
Pat
You have to stand your ground against these dogs.
Pat
Cop B is a weeaboo! That's fucking sick!
Woolie
You're yelling at these immigrants so hard that you're just gonna die.
Pat
I was like, "Wh.. what? What the fuck is an endoplasmic reticulum? Is that gonna attack my balls?".
Pat
We gonna see wolvess taking over and successfully running fast food chains? We gonna see babies giving babies tattoos?
Woolie
If people are just gonna watch like, the Brawl for the last ten seconds and then use it as jerk off purposes, then fine. Fucking fine!
Pat
Aya, there was goo all over you, it was gross.
Pat
It used to be people.
Woolie
It used to be people. Not like that other goo, that could be people.
Pat
If anything, he should get strict on dogs.
Woolie
Hey, if I wanna say something creepy, you cannot escape.
Pat
Oh, it's Dark Souls all over again.
Pat
Hey, Woolie, you know where we're going? We're going to the sperm bank. 'Cause the story needs sperm.
Pat
Actually, there's a guy out here who specializes in turkey basting.
Pat
Autopsy! C'mon, shove your arm up that guy's ass!
Pat
You can drink now in active time!
Pat
Oops. There's another billion Jesuses in my toilet.
Pat
You go to a sperm bank with a shotgun, you don't think you're gonna get some sperm on you?
Woolie
Did you ever think we'd ever play a game in which the phrase 'all this sperm is getting me so hot' is even somewhat appropriate?
Pat
It was your idea to play this. That means all the sperm jokes are your fault.
Pat
See, in Grenada, horse cocks grow in the wild.
Pat
I really wanna push 50 Shades of Mitochondria.
Woolie
Well you go over to fucking Korea and you fight the whole country as to how they do animation. I think you'd lose.
Pat
Self-deprecation is the key to success!
Pat
Matt's the fucking champ! No one can beat him in acting dumb.
Pat
Big Trouble in Little China Town Warehouse?
Woolie
Something is spiritually satisfied within me at the idea of shooting a rocket at a rat.
Woolie
Thanks shotgun rifle freeze gun!
Pat
I'll just fucking jump out the window and kill myself so you do this yourself.
Pat
That told me.
Woolie
It's not, 'Why did this dog have a sniper rifle?', it's 'Why did this dog refuse to use it against me?'.
Woolie
Every time you're about to do something important, just back out a little bit.
Pat
I'm just saying, his legacy would be less complex if he died thirty years earlier.
Pat on Micheal Jackson
That's coward shit. That's what cowards and me do.
Pat
You're actually progressing. What a nightmare.
Pat
It's weird that your son escaped. He should be goo in my shoe.
Pat
It's NYPD abortion time!
Pat
Can I check your notes out, can I look at your computer? Can I fucking fart on your grave?
Woolie
Remembering is my brain cheating.
Pat
But Gak is cool. Did you ever play with Gak as a kid?
Woolie
Yeah. He's got a good album.
Pat
You can't pay alimony to slime!
Woolie
We gotta teach kids values, like giving up your organs!
Pat
Don't shoot that giant uterus!
Pat
What if it is her Daniels? What if it's you and that blob walking up the isle?
Woolie
If you had to have one, what would it be?
Woolie
Vestigial limb?
Pat
Yeah.
Woolie
Third penis.
Pat
Have you ever talked to a baby? They're dumb as shit.
Pat
A government mandated case of SIDS.
Woolie
Well she's got a revolOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo...
Woolie witnessing the hypest moment in mitochondria
Maeda is a giant horse-shit monster. We have to defeat him.
Woolie
This Broadway performance, the intro, had less deaths than Don't Turn Off the Dark.
Woolie
I love the smell of a man's colon... oh wait, you weren't in that video.
Pat
Did you just say 'you can definitely do beer with wine'?
Pat

TriviaEdit

  • The Prince of Tennis scene Woolie mentions in part twenty-three can be found here.
  • Unlike most series, the final episode of this playthrough does not have any outro music, instead fading off into silence.

GalleryEdit

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