This is an extended page of the Parasite Eve "About" section, showcasing the descriptions for each part of the Let's Play.


Aya Breakowski, fresh faced beat cop of the NYPD, is feeling HOT.
— Part one
Detective Breakowski drew her gun and walked in on the perp, embarrassingly trying to play a dramatic piano with giant oven mitt paws and sausage fingers. “Shoulda stuck to tuba, bitch.”
— Part two
One’s a by the book predictable unpredictable cowboy cop, the other, a tired ass old black dude. And this Christmas, they’re gonna arrest SCIENCE.
— Part three
“You’re a loose cannon, Breakowski! The D.A.’s gonna have my ass for this! You have 48 hours to arrest that sonofabitch parasite, or I’m taking your gun and badge!”
— Part four
Daniels stared bug eyed at the creepy ass jabbering scientist. If this motherfucker says mitochondria one more time, he’s getting the ol’ wood shampoo, he thought.
— Part five
“You’re a shitty ass parent, Daniels.” Breakowski said, as the blue and red lights passed over Daniels sullen face. He remained silent. Breakowski cocked one into the chamber and aimed her heater at the nearest Zoo animal. “…but you’re damned good po-lice.”
— Part six
Today's episode of Mitochondria is brought to you by Creepy Anime Bullshit.
— Part seven
As Detective Breakowski barreled down the road in her commandeered burning horse carriage, flashing her badge and firing her piece indiscriminately into the air, the citizens of New York felt safer than ever before.
— Part eight
Maeda ducked for cover as Daniels kicked open the Gun Shop door he just shot through. "I d-don't think...I don't think we should..." the Japanese scientist stammered. Before he could finish his thought, Daniels turned 180 degrees, took three paces and stopped inches from Maeda's face. "You want it to be one way." "What?" "You want it to be one way." "H-hey man I d-didn't...c'mon...stop saying tha-" "But it's the other way." Maeda couldn't run, so his bladder ran for him.
— Part nine
Breakowski had a flat on the upper west side, sure, but the precinct was her real home. She lived from case to case, always dreading the moment that the handcuffs go click and suddenly she's left to face herself. At her desk, at the precinct, there was always another case, always another perp, always another wall to put up between her and her inner self. And that's why she'd be damned if she was going to let a coalition of spiders, monkeys and crows take over the joint on her watch.
— Part ten
“'To think like them, you have become them', Aya reasoned, as she coated herself from head to toe in literal bioslime. After checking her clip, she swiftly reaches down to her iPod and selects the 'Theme of Child Rescue' playlist. "Let's do this."
— Part eleven
"You take the scenic route getting here, Breakowski? Grabbed us a few beers atleast?" Baker scathed, as he cracks his maglite over the 2nd of 3 heads belonging to the guardian being of the gates of Hell."Sorry chief, got caught up collecting trading cards. How'd you survive this long anyway?" "The ex-wife had more heads and higher crit rating.
— Part twelve
Hey guys, we're tools for missing the tools.
— Part thirteen
Who wants a quick lesson in vagina dentata? Too late!
— Part fourteen
It's scientifically proven that Suge Knight murders sperm as early as possible to avoid them owing him money at a later date.
— Part fifteen
[Now playing Parasite Eve - Track 16 - Theme of Sperm Liberation.mp3]
— Part sixteen
In this episode, Detective Breakowski wades through a mile of shit, is rendered legally blind, and becomes a morlock.
— Part seventeen
Still not having learned her lesson and shit out of leads, Breakowski , attempts to put the cuffs on a sewage pump.
— Part eighteen
For the 3rd time, Maeda spent the entire night folding and painting an intricate good luck charm, as taught to him by his late mother. For the 3rd time, he presents it to Aya, delicately with both hands. And for the 3rd time she receives it in the palm of her hand, tilts her head backwards, and with a hateful smile, crushes it into oblivion and waits for his tears.
— Part nineteen
Dogz vs Catz 2k15: Cross Generation of Shit-ass-petfuckery
— Part twenty
God damn it, we need to stop guessing so RIGHT.
— Part twenty-one
Unlike Breakowski, who had it easy because of her bloodline technique, Daniels had to do Smokin' Sick Stylish gun combos while riding raptor corpses with a donut in his mouth to get through the museum.
— Part twenty-two
Breakowski wouldn't find skeletons hilarious at all. When she's not getting HOT on the case, she's kind of a Debbie Downer.
— Part twenty-three
Breakowski paused her Triassic massacre to look up that Prince of Tennis dinosaur clip Woolie was talking about, because that shit is ridicks.
— Part twenty-four
When Breakowski goes plain clothes on your ass, ALL OF THE LIMITERS ARE RELEASED.
— Part twenty-five
Attention! We fucked up and encountered a video error on this one, so the ending footage is missing. Part 27'll start with the missing shit, our bad.
— Part twenty-six
Will the job save Aya? Did Daniels just single handedly steal the spotlight and in 8 seconds, promote himself to hypegod status while outshining everything Aya has accomplished for the last 27 episodes? Should the credits have just started rolling then and there?
— Part twenty-seven Final

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