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This is an extended page of Pat's most memorable quotes.

QuoterEdit

Every time we make one of these videos I feel like a prostitute.
— Pat, on the subject of Xbox Live Indie Games Let's Plays
A real hero will suck a dick to save their children!
— Pat
Oh man that wind is so east!
— Pat
You can't solve world hunger by feeding people cancer!
— Pat[src]
I basically don't even play video games anymore, I just do this shit all day.
— Pat
This fucking flower is bullshit!
— Pat
Kids don't require as much oxygen, that's why they're hard to smother!
— Pat
FUCKING INVISIBLE!!!
— Pat
It's all goin' tits up now!
— Pat
You nerd!
— Pat
It's fine.
— Pat
Absolutely!
— Pat
This is garbage.
— Pat
This is the worst.
— Pat
That's absurd!
— Pat
It's not one hundred percent clear.
— Pat
Off to a rollicking good start.
— Pat
I think an old black man beating the shit out of a kid with a cane is the best thing in the world.
— Pat
This is going to be a curbstomp symphony.
— Pat
You cannot out-mash me!
— Pat
Eenie Meenie Miney Moe. I wonder where my glove will go.
— Pat
You know what the best thing to say during sex is? It feels so good around my dick, gurl!
— Pat
It means more time for me to like, Fist of the North Star your asses.
— Pat
You're weak!
— Pat
Rotate your saves.
— Pat
I'm so good you don't even know!
— Pat
Stop talking about Street Sharks!
— Pat
I wish I could kick Goofy down the fuckin' stairs. What an asshole.
— Pat
See ya, shitlords!
— Pat
I thought it felt like butterflies caressing my naked body... what the fuck am I talking about?
— Pat
Cut your shit!
— Pat
Fucking chomp-chomps! Oh my god these fucking, mother fucking chomp-chomps!
— Pat[src]
Aw, my breadsticks!
— Pat
Fuck off, robot. I love you!
— Pat
...He hit his jank and it was MAAAD stank!
— Pat[src]
Now if I'm in the Rockies I know which sheep to fuck.
— Pat[src]
Nanopaste. I used it.
— Pat[src]
I realized that the world isn't fair if the Power Rangers can lose.
— Pat
My moisture came back. I'm wet and ready to go now.
— Pat
The baby!
— Pat
What the hell is a ginny cage?! Is that where Ron’s sister is kept?
— Pat
The gaming industry is bizarre. It is not an industry of success. It is an industry of your competitor, your direct head to head competitor, tripping over their dick and faceplanting into a bunch of shit. The only reason Sony got ground with the PS1 is because Nintendo fucked them with a deal and then went with carts for N64 and spent so many years pissing off third parties that everyone was willing to jump ship. The Saturn fucking killed itself by dropping into stores that were only Kmarts. The PS3 fucked up its entire early launch cycle by going a year late $200 more. And if you can just keep your company not shitty, if you can make a not terrible product, and your competitor makes an awful one, you’re the one who gets all the money.
— Pat
If I wanna get killed by a barbed wire dick, I want it to be on land.
— Pat
I don't want to walk into this classroom and get hit with a shower of fetuses from your unwanted pregnancies!
— Pat[src]
Shut up, Garbage.
— Pat[src]
I had sixty thousand people calling me a paedophile on a swing.
— Pat
Who is to say that the love between a man and a shotgun is not sacred?
— Pat
I think the worst thing I ever read about an animal is that ducks have projectile dicks.
— Pat
You wanna know where your clothes should be? On the floor, next to all my empty cans of Dragon Kick!
— Pat[src]
I think Liam is super cute, you guys.
— Pat
You guys are gonna steal my pies!
— Pat
Liam's not hot, Liam's cute.
— Pat
I need to watch some lady-killing material.
— Pat
When you run out of stuff to talk about, talk about dead wrestlers.
— Pat
I am a fucking gentleman, you shit.
— Pat
You can only find the truest capitalism within a communist country.
— Pat[src]
I am what you would call a shotgun connoisseur.
— Pat
She's not looking, stare at her tits!
— Pat[src]
If all else fails, just cheat like crazy.
— Pat[src]
Hey kids! Smoke crack!
— Pat
Don't x-ray yourself, that's bad for your junk.
— Pat
You can't keep hot ramen in your butt all day.
Pat
Everything fucks, Matt. Everything on this Earth. Even weird plants fuck, they just fuck weird. Plants just sorta jizz all over the floor, and then other plants roll around in it by accident.
— Pat[src]
What, you don't think a giant rubber fist is romantic?
— Pat
The sea is basically the sky of the ground.
— Pat[src]
The bigger the fists, the better the game.
— Pat
These aren't even good bananas...
— Pat, after being forced by Matt to eat bananas and play Donkey Kong Tropical Freeze for four hours
There's no 'pretty early' for drinking, what the hell's wrong with you?
— Pat, Street Fighter IV Tournament Match at Dawson College in Montreal on March 27th 2009
I'm dead inside! I can watch ANYTHING, now!
— Pat
This is the hypest shit!
— Pat
There's no parole in the apocalypse.
— Pat
I'm gonna fucking save.
— Pat
Considering how fucked up that shit we just did was.
— Pat
I want the Earth to be destroyed, so that I can have good views like this.
— Pat
You have to mash it to murder.
— Pat
Arm floaties are great cause you just put them on kids, then you throw them in there and the kids not gonna die.
— Pat
I can't beat her to death with nothin'. The game won't let me.
— Pat
Nice use of proboscis. I like it.
— Pat
Woolie has wild rats, the ones that can use firearms.
— Pat
I have a sick pipe now, with death shit on it.
— Pat
I'm gonna cheap out and murder you.
— Pat
If a girl gave me a Voltron toy, I would marry her on the spot.
— Pat
Dear diary, today I saw Leon. Splosh, the diary is ruined.
— Pat
The King! I am the King!
— Pat
I’ve always wanted to become one with the package.
— Pat
He just fisted through to the other side!
— Pat
I’ll go out like i went in: with no dignity and with everyone watching.
— Pat
I’d hit Leon.
— Pat
Always pull out.
— Pat
In the winter, you can always, BURN MORE STUFF.
— Pat
Stupid dumb kids should get shot.
— Pat
It’s like a sonic dickboom!
— Pat
They’re giant, they’re like the size of your dick!
— Pat
No, they just like to fuck me!
— Pat responding to Woolie asking "He likes to fuck horses, doesn't he?"
I’m gonna dress up like a dinosaur and have sex with that car!
— Pat
Goddamnit, cat! I want to put things in you!
— Pat
When you make sex jokes that’s how you know you’re at your peak.
— Pat
I can read your turgid mind.
— Pat
Watch Dogs ruined a lot of things.
— Pat
If you lube it, I will come.
— Pat
I don’t get frozen because i’m already too cool.
— Pat
What’s with you and the rocket launcher porn?
— Pat
The feel of dick.
— Pat
Don’t put your dick in your food.
— Pat
I’m gonna let him lick my butt and smell my butt.
— Pat
Double fist that giant lizard.
— Pat
I’m gonna hide this in Liam.
— Pat
I oozed a little bit of tension out earlier.
— Pat
Am I drunk?
— Pat
Kids: if you smoke tobacco, you’ll be healthy forever.
— Pat
Internet penetration just wasn’t there.
— Pat
I just got an achievement for having an affair with Taft.
— Pat
No pants in the horror game.
— Pat
My balls need all the skin they can get.
— Pat
Draw a butt and if you get an erection you may have a problem.
— Pat
Butt jackets - Coming from the makers of the Snuggie.
— Pat
If you can’t tell how old they are that’s how you know it’s good.
— Pat
Hey, I’m not bleeding any more. This must be how girls feel!
— Pat
Just because I beat my wife doesn’t make me evil. Everybody beats their wife!
— Pat
My pants are down and my tiny dick is out!
— Pat
Why don’t I just shove poop in their butt?
— Pat
It goes in easy, comes out hard.
— Pat
Bear trapper and spring boner.
— Pat
Super Best Friend Zaibatsu - The Floppiest Dicks on Youtube!
— Pat
Girls splooshing all over my shoes, just like Superchunk.
— Pat
"Lets all breathe, it’s important"
— Pat
No one’s gonna adopt melted kids!
— Pat
Can’t you just wear your balls as pants?
— Pat
We should all just butter ourselves.
— Pat
The secret Street Fighter 4 character is gonna be Lightning.
— Pat
It's not like I like hearing it, b-baka...
— Pat
I’ve been told that the squirt of truth burns if you get it in your eye.
— Pat
Doves are jerk birds. No one likes them.
— Pat
Remember when Robocop just exploded with piss all over N209?
— Pat
Nazis for all
— Pat
Is turgid ever used for anything other than dicks?
— Pat
I have to go to jail for 25 years. Now I’ll never see Face/Off!
— Pat
Wait til the tip is off, then cut.
— Pat
I’m gonna fuck that bird with this coconut!
— Pat
I'm being gang-banged over here by the weirdest androgynous bunch of motherfuckers ever!!
— Patt
What the fuck is Homestuck?
— Pat
Hey! This is where Leon choked me in the flashback I had before it happened.
— Pat
That's how babies work. They're actually teleporting babies from the future into their uteruses.
— Pat
Complete heroic shit for whatever.
— Pat
You know what I mean?
— Pat[src]
Drop your sheild
— Pat[src]
Look, your red is burst with face-lightning!
— Pat[src]
Give- Give- Give it to me. Give me the fucking.
— Pat[src]
My girlfriend beat it for me while i cried.
— Pat
Excuse me.
— Pat[src]
I've died and gone to Italy!
— Pat
You'd be amazed how gross things can be if they're just gross.
— Pat
It's about experiencing things as we experience them... Like a pile of shit.
— Pat
Time to be a huge coward.
— Pat[src]
Well, in Japan, children shove things up each others asses all the time
— Pat
I thought my soul was dead. Then I started watching Watamote.
— Pat on Twitter[1]
There's a certain nobility in lying in bed all day pretending things aren't the way they are.
— Pat[src]
You're not my mom, and if you were I'd be like, 'Fuck you, mom!', 'cause I'm a stupid white kid.
— Pat[src]
The decision has already been made poorly.
— Pat[src]

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