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Best Friends Play

Super Mario RPG

Super Mario RPG
Watch this series on the website

Watch this series on YouTube

Game Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Episodes 25
Combined Length 14:21:56
Original Run Jan 10, 2015 - Feb 27, 2015
Controller Liam
“To fans of this game that are upset that we are filthing it up, I mean eh, what do you expect?” — Pat

Best Friends Play Super Mario RPG is a full Let's Play in which Pat and Liam play the offspring of Square and Nintendo's passionate one-night stand.

About[]

Pat and Liam stumble through a strange land of gendered Toads.
— Playlist description

See the individual episode descriptions at the Super Mario RPG Descriptions page.

Quotes[]

Oh, he's just gonna take over the whole fucking earl'd. World. Earl'd?
Pat
This feels like Barkley, like from minute one.
Pat
Mario can't speak other than weird unintelligible racist Italian words.
Pat
And when he does open his mouth, it's just John Leguizamo.
Liam
And then I blew up.
Pat
All over Peach.
Liam
As long as it's about a thirty percent trust rate, I can work with that.
Liam
I think we might be dumb.
Pat
When you break it down, everything is just The Punisher.
Pat
To fans of this game that are upset that we are filthing it up, I mean eh, what do you expect?
Pat
It makes sense because Mallow looks delicious.
Pat
So confirmed, Thwomps are just assholes.
Liam
Yeah, the things that live in Grenada.
Pat
The black people with machetes.
Liam
Like, if I grew up in Woolie's family and they were like, "Pat, you're adopted.", I'd be like, "Yeah, no shit! I figured it out."
Pat
Have you ever contorted your penis into a hashtag? It's more pleasurable than it sounds.
Liam
Both crosses is tough.
Pat
But, I mean, it's manageable.
Liam
But it's manageable. Because it's really big. And thin. Like, that only works if it's really thin!
Pat
Yeah, it's got to be that!
Liam
It's gotta be- you've gotta have spaghetti dick.
Pat
Poor Spaghetti-Dick Pete. That guy we know with the spaghetti dick. Poor him.
Liam
He shouldn't have put it in the- in the- in the strainer!
Pat
Let's get on the "children are fucking stupid" bandwagon.
Pat
We're on episode sixty-five of Super Mario RPG, but we're still stuck in this forest.
Liam
He's the nougat that isn't good enough to go into Mars bars.
Pat about Mallow
Don't flake on us Mario. Don't be like your brother John Leguizamo.
Pat
Oh my god, Miyamoto is starting to become George Lucas. Oh my god, it just all clicked together in my head. Sticker Star is Episode One.
Pat
What about Wii Music? Is that Episode One?
Liam
Oh god. No, that's like, Indiana Jones 4
Pat
I'm not the goddamn arbiter of truth in the Mario universe.
Pat
Dude, the sex applications of carrot are, like...
Liam
Just strap it to your forehead.
Pat
It's important that you hate yourself sometimes.
Pat
Is that a dildo?
Liam
Yes. If you have to ask, the answer is yes, and if the answer is no, it's actually, "It could be though.".
Pat
I still say Merryo in my head, but because you guys are such assholes, I actively correct it before speeching... fuck. Fuck! That one's gonna haunt me.
Pat
I lost almost everything I ever did in High School and look at me now! I'm super well adjusted!
Pat
Exactly. That's what you do when you touch your dick... I mean shower... I mean touch your dick.
Liam
I feel like I caught you in a dumb thing, and rather than admitting it, you're like, "No, wait. I can still make this work."
Pat
I can salvage this bullshit.
Liam
That was the best possible outcome to that.
Liam
No, the best outcome to that would be, like, a birthday party.
Pat
No, I'm gonna shit in my pants. I'm old enough at that point, I've earned it.
Pat
That's a dick joke.
Liam
It's a dick joke! We're talking about pee pees.
Pat
Well, that depends... on your perspective and shit. Your perspective of pooch fucking.
Pat
What fucking on the job injury are you going to get plumbing? Oh no, a wrench fell in my ass!
Pat
There's a doujin or fan fiction that goes here.
Liam
Mash till you win.
Liam
No, this ain't Marvel.
Pat
Did you know you can just be Jeff Goldblum if you say you are.
Liam
You're trash. You're the trash king. Remember that time we found you in a dumpster and raised you as our own?
Pat
He taught the first Avatar earthbending... with his mole powers.
Pat about Woolie
I remember Woolie said, "Man, don't do the side quests in this game 'cause they take fucking forever.", and then I'm like, "Wow, it doesn't take forever when you just read how to do them on GameFAQs.".
Pat
It's a foot-long dildo that's just a tiny statue of Ron Jeremy.
Pat
People were doing like, because Woolie had the purple dreads, and it's like, "Ah it's Woolie's doppelganger, Moolie." but it's like, Moolie is a bad word in Italian for black people.
Pat
So don't worry everyone, no matter what you're saying, it's probably racist somewhere.
Pat
Look at this child I have in my pocket. Look at it.
Liam
Fuck that dodo up! They're gone for a reason! They were shit animals! They deserved to di... no come on. That's getting ridiculous.
Pat
There's a Seinfeld quote for literally every scenario that exists on this Earth.
Pat
I have a hypothesis that kids who grew up with a Genesis are happier now.
Liam
That's one of those things where if someone said, "Hey Liam, you're from Toronto, right?", you'd fucking shit your ass.
Pat
When you’re a kid in kindergarten, and the teacher asks you what the letter K is and you say T, they don’t say "It’s a tie." because then you end up with a nation of Woolies!
Liam
You have to not be able to control your dildo.
Liam
I can't control it. It's like Dark Phoenix.
Pat
That's how you do it, that's how RPGs work. You overpower yourself to the point where you don't wanna fight the enemies.
Liam
I touched Sonic Heroes once and then vomited.
Pat
I wish I was Dark Phoenix sometimes. That way I could punch Scott Summers in the dick when he wasn't looking.
Pat
And you get to kiss Wolverine and stuff.
Liam
Y'know Geno, you really are the Super Mario RPG... Seven Stars...
Pat

Trivia[]

  • It took seven parts before Pat and Liam figured out that you can actually run in this game. A huge moment of "we are dumb" immediately ensued.
  • Liam made a fanfiction in the description of the videos. It detailed Square-chan's romantic adventures with Nintendo-senpai.

Gallery[]

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