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Star Wars Week: Episode VII

The Dark Kinnection

Dark Kinnection Title
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Game Kinect Star Wars
Length 44:57
Upload Date Dec 20, 2015
Controller Liam, Woolie
Previous Obi -Truck Kenobi Unleashed
Next The Force Awakens Movie Review
“The Kinect is like being in a wheelchair. Cool at first but then everybody feels bad.” — Pat


The Dark Kinnection is the seventh episode of the Star Wars Week special in which Matt, Pat, Woolie, and Liam try to prove they are ready to be Jedi knights by using their newly gained Force powers to get a Kinect game to not shit all over itself and try to stop the Kinect from being a racist piece of garbage.

About Edit

EPISODE VII - DARK KINECTION OF THE EMPIRE Depressed and battle-weary, our foursome of space morons band together to fight the Galactic Empire's darkest, most horrible weapon they've ever developed... THE DEATH KINECTION. This overhyped, barely functional piece of technology is nevertheless an extremely dangerous threat to all who enjoy freedom and fun. Unfortunately, our heroes were caught in the rays of the Death Kinection within like, 5 seconds of getting near it, and were immediately forced to participate in incredibly awkward, poorly controlling rituals for the pleasure of onlookers. Embarrassed to the extreme, we join our foursome in the middle of this shitty ordeal...
— Video description

Quotes Edit

AmeriMatt, are you sure you wanna use your Kinect? Yes, I payed twenty dollars for it.
— Matt
I'm giving Zach ample ammunition to go, 'Man, humans are the worst. Look at these idiots.'.
— Matt
Yeah, but he's gonna be playing it when you're not looking.
— Liam
Woolie, use your black man x-ray vision and just look through his ass.
— Pat
They went from younglings to deadlings.
— Matt
You think Jedi get training for free? They come out of there with debt, man.
— Liam
These Jedi student loans are killing me!
— Pat
Space immigrants are stealing our taxes.
— Pat
There should be lightsaber bokkens.
— Woolie
You mean swords?
— Matt
Yoda got to a ripe old age because he didn't fall into the trap of pig fucking.
— Pat
Yeah, like most Jedi do.
— Matt
And British Prime Ministers.
— Pat
Strangle all these Gungans with Kinect.
— Liam
Early ass Kinect. No black people allowed. Especially if you're wearing a hoodie.
— Woolie
The Kinect is like being in a wheelchair. Cool at first but then everybody feels bad.
— Pat

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