Two Best Friends Play
Yakuza 0
| |
Watch this series on the website | |
Game | Yakuza 0 |
Episodes | 68 |
Combined Length | 34:38:38 |
Original Run | Mar 28, 2017 - Jun 22, 2017 |
Controller | Pat |
“I'm glad that we said that differently so that the voice clip is difficult to use against us in the courts.” — Pat
Two Best Friends Play Yakuza 0 is a full Let's Play in which Matt and Pat get scammed into taking pocket tissues, study to become fisting artists, create the modern day sales tax in Japan, join a cult, murder multiple people for a copy of Dragon Quest, get shaken down, lose fifty percent of their vision, produce never before seen results, and buy porn for children. It was acceptable in the 80's.
About[]
- “'”
- — Website playlist description
See the individual episode descriptions at the Yakuza 0 (Full Let's Play) Series Descriptions page.
Quotes[]
- “Start with Yakuza Shawarma.”
- — Pat
- “Can you imagine if mafia members wore nametags?”
- — Pat
- “Which era Ally McBeal? Early or late?”
- — Pat
- “Pre-Crisis.”
- — Matt
- “Rub-Rub Happy Penis Ten-Thousand Percent.”
- — Matt
- “Chan.”
- — Pat
- “No.”
- — Matt
- “Yeah, they're baristas.”
- — Matt
- “Is that a wizard or is that an anime?”
- — Pat
- “I'm coming down with a case of the clap. That's the best way to put it.”
- — Matt
- “You look like you're covered in another person's blood. You should probably order some ramen.”
- — Matt
- “Think of the Empty Lot as the rights to System Shock. Nobody knows who actually owns it, then they went and murdered somebody on top of a picture that said 'System Shock'.”
- — Pat
- “Please have your dong knocking over Ming vases.”
- — Matt
- “I lost my hand in an argument over what color the Gamecube was.”
- — Pat
- “He'll shake everybody down. He'll shake everyone you love.”
- — Matt
- “Look at these hot boys!”
- — Pat
- “Those didn't exist in the eighties.”
- — Matt
- “Osakans are basically martial arts cowboys.”
- — Matt
- “What's wrong with being a fucking weirdo sex pervert?”
- — Pat
- “Panty puppo peddler.”
- — Matt
- “Poodle picked a pick of peppered panties.”
- — Pat
- “What do you want, man who has a PS3 texture on his back?”
- — Pat
- “That's a PS1 texture.”
- — Matt
- “True equality is punching a woman in the back of the head!”
- — Pat
- “Just like Steve Austin woulda done.”
- — Matt
- “We have to go to Paizuri Street.”
- — Matt
- “Paizuri Street? Okay, yeah. You're very familiar with that street, I heard.”
- — Pat
- “I research it a lot. Get maps of the area.”
- — Matt
- “Directions.”
- — Pat
- “There's a lot of places to go. Actually, there's only one direction, straight in the middle, but..”
- — Matt
- “Yeah, it's a big street.”
- — Pat
- “That guy looked really pissed. Probably because you punched him in the face.”
- — Matt
- “I though it was called 'Grandma Kakurocho'. I'm not sure if we should go to that erotic video store.”
- — Matt
- “We'll get to that later. We'll get deeper into that later.”
- — Pat
- “Even in a casual conversation, you should be working in an S&M flavor.”
- — Matt/Kiryu
- “That's the worst, grossest kind of M&Ms. You go down to the movie theater and it's like, 'I'd like a bag of S&Ms please.'.”
- — Pat
- “That doesn't really make a lot of sense but that would fit right in with this game.”
- — Pat
- “Lord of the Night? What am I Dr. Acula out here?”
- — Pat
- “Yeah, because it's like, when you're blind y'know, it's like, if you cut out one eye, the other eye gets extra strong.”
- — Matt
- “Yeah, it gets a little sword.”
- — Pat
- “I can see why it's like, the competing clubs or establishments, y'know, do their best to try to outplay the other. 'We got Donnie and Marie.'. 'Oh yeah? We got a bunch of Cirque du Soleil people fucking each other on stage.'. 'That's pretty strong.'.”
- — Matt
- “Slap my butt and call me Super BunnyHop.”
- — Matt
- “Every time cults come up all I think about is, 'Man, I should have started a cult, but it's too late now.'. Oh, wait. Mid-life crisis.”
- — Pat
- “Mom gets sad and lonely. She plays with a lot of guys at night.”
- — Pat
- “For hours.”
- — Matt
- “Yeah, they do a lot of wrestling. I accidentally went in there and got DDT'd once.”
- — Pat
- “Do you miss your husband's penis? 'Cause I've got one that's suspiciously similar.”
- — Pat
- “Why would there be pee everywhere? This isn't San Fransisco.”
- — Pat
- “Between the two of us, we have one eye. We can make it.”
- — Pat
- “Welcome to Telltale boys, where your calls don't matter.”
- — Matt
- “What a weird question, now climb in this asshole.”
- — Pat
- “Talking to girls is hard. Who would have thought?”
- — Pat
- “Unfortunately, Roger Jr. is banned in North America. Oh wait, that's not a real story.”
- — Pat
- “Y'know what's really romantic? Instead of calling a girl you just show up at her work, drunk, wasted with no pants, yelling about the Reptilians.”
- — Pat
- “I'm gonna kill you and the other five billionaires. Leisure King, Pull-Out King...”
- — Matt
- “Kupo King.”
- — Pat
- “Long lumber, is what they call me.”
- — Matt
- “Sex first, then child later.”
- — Matt
- “In a crushing it sorta way. Not like he's shitting all over the floor.”
- — Matt
- “I'm trying to buy childs porns. I mean, I'm trying to buy.. oh no!”
- — Matt
- “No, why were you hanging out in a homeless person park?”
- — Pat
- “Shut up. I mean, I was trying to buy a child porn.”
- — Matt
- “We need to find more, uh...”
- — Matt
- “Empty lots.”
- — Pat
- “No, side stories that involve children.”
- — Matt
- “And pornography.”
- — Pat
- “Yes, as two separate entities.”
- — Matt
- “I'm glad that we said that differently so that the voice clip is difficult to use against us in the courts.”
- — Pat
- “Yeah, then people would have to clean up orphan parts and be like, 'Ah, there's an orphan part in my soup.'.”
- — Matt
- “Damn, gross. Can somebody adopt this leg, please?”
- — Pat
- “I don't think anything I will do will help you see Lee-san”
- — Pat to a blind girl
- “Fucking save me from the Will Ferrel Hour.”
- — Pat
- “Ah, there's some girls.”
- — Matt
- “No! Get away from me!”
- — Pat
- “His arm strength is disgusting.”
- — Pat
- “It's pretty gross. I'm kinda, like, I almost wanna vomit.”
- — Matt
- “I know when I get a snake shaped spear through my heart, I fall into comas.”
- — Matt
- “You just killed Sega. I mean more, I guess.”
- — Matt
- “More than usual?”
- — Pat
- “You know a man's evil because he's rubbing a girl's nips out in public.”
- — Pat
- “It's not 'Put Your Balls in My Mouth'. That's a different song.”
- — Pat
- “How'd you get your leg so thick? Oh its from running with my arms behind my back like an asshole”
- — Pat on Woolie
- “Is that what you're pushing right now? Every part of Woolie you can't see right now is probably white?”
- — Pat
- “Or Robotic.”
- — Matt
- “It's really sad that my big takeaways for this game is 'I'm a nerd.', 'never before seen results', child pornography, and Face/Off.”
- — Matt
- “Okay, so if they are on a collision course, who's Jay Z and who's Linkin Park”
- — Matt
- “...Majima's Jay Z, Kiryu's Linkin Park”
- — Pat
- “♫ Hentai comes out, Births go down ♫”
- — Pat
- “How long do chickens even fucking live”
- — Pat
- “I dunno, like a couple seconds.”
- — Matt
- “It's like a fidget spinner, that titty.”
- — Matt
- “Children can fight criminals.”
- — Matt
- “It's true.”
- — Pat
- “If children would fucking apply themselves.”
- — Matt
- “Or, "Here's my permits" and then you slowly push a knife into the guy's eye.”
- — Matt
- “Sometimes Kiryu's like, 'Why do I bother talking to low polgon people?'.”
- — Matt
- “I wish there was a photo of Kiryu in the guy's pocket.”
- — Matt
- “With the glasses?”
- — Pat
- “With the glasses, and he's giving pornography to a child”
- — Matt
- “Who's Bret Hart in this analogy? Is it Majima?”
- — Pat
- “Curbs are a dangerous enemy that must be killed.”
- — Matt
- “Go, go, one eyed ranger!”
- — Matt
- “So many battles end with guys with their assholes in the air like that.”
- — Pat
- “It happens in this game a lot too.”
- — Matt
- “The love between two men and their love of porn is what resurrected that spirit.”
- — Matt
- “There's two things that bond two friends to life as brothers, and that's beating other men up and watching porn together.”
- — Matt
Trivia[]
- The intro was made by Volta Bass.
- The intro song is "Force Addiction" from Yakuza 0.
- Pat originally planned for the LP to only focus on the main story, but later decided against it, saying that the side mission are better than the actual main story.
- The outro tracks for each video are from the Yakuza 0 OST and are listed in order --->
- Starting with part fifty-five, the end title card is replaced with a clip from one of the karaoke mini-games and then random mini-games and side-quests starting with part sixty-five.
- "Money Makes Money"
- "Tiger Flute"
- "We're Long Hua Expedition"
- "Breakin' Showcase"
- "Cabaret Sunshine -Fake Love-
- "TAKUMI 1988"
- "To be prepared..."
- "As You Like"
- "Fever ☆ Time"
- "Receive You The Subtype"
- "t.u.s.k."
- "Make You Free"
- "For Buddy"
- "怨魔の契り" (Tribunal for the Devil)
- "閻魔の誓い" (Enma's Oath)
- "Firelight"
- "With Vengeance"
- "Reign"
- "快楽ノトキ" (Pleasure Nothing)
- "唖然呆然" (So Suddenly)
- "Rocket Nuts Groove"
- "at the 1st bottom"
- "at the rock bottom"
- "The Purgatory"
- "Fiercest Warrior ver. 0"
- "Breeze Time"
- "Ignite Your Spirit"
- "The Purgatory"
- "Fiercest Warrior ver 0"
- "Breeze Time"
- "Ignite Your Speed"
- "Beyond the Speed"
- "イメージビデオ Hot Girl" (Image Video Hot Girl)
- "イメージビデオ Charming Girl" (Image Video Charming Girl)
- "Like a Butterfly, Like a Bee"
- "Hello Beast"
- "Red Radical Rage"
- "For the Victory"
- "Never End, Baby!"
- "Piece of Pride"
- "I wanna take you home"
- "Friday Night"
- "Queen of the Passion"
- "I'm gonna make her mine"
- "恋のディスコクイーン" (Disco Queen of Love)
- "24時間シンデレラ Full Spec Edition" (24-Hour Cinderella Full Spec Edition)
- "Judgement"
- "Judgement"
- "Judgement"
- "Judgement"
- "Judgement"
- "Judgement"
- "24-Hour Cinderella"
- "24-Hour Cinderella"
- "24-Hour Cinderella"
- "Judgement"
- "Bakamitai"
- "Heartbreak Mermaid" (Ayaka)
- "Judgement BROTHER NISHIKI Edition"
- "x3 SHINE" (Yuki)
- "Rouge of Love" (Hibiki)
- "Heartbreak Mermaid" (Chika)
- "x3 SHINE" (Riku)
- "Rouge of Love" (Haruki)
- "I'm Gonna Make Her Mine" (Majima)
- Scene from the "Disciple Of The New Order" Substory
- The fishing mini-game
- Porn