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Two Best Friends Play

Yakuza 4

Yakuza 4 Title Card
Watch this series on the website

Watch this series on YouTube

Game Yakuza 4
Episodes 38
Combined Length 21:06:11
Original Run Dec 11, 2013 - Apr 21, 2014
Controller Pat
“I think of a picture of a child putting his hands up in wonderment, saying, 'What the fuck is Yakuza?'!” — Matt


Two Best Friends Play Yakuza 4 is a full Let's Play in which Matt and Pat reminisce on the past Yakuza games, gain lots of heat, knock down old people, play pachinko, go on adventures with Lübe Bu and Grapple Man, learn the joys of suicide, replace hostesses with blow up dolls, and keep hot ramen in their butts, which come pre-microwaved.


AboutEdit

“'
— Website description

See the individual episode descriptions at the Yakuza 4 Descriptions page.

Quotes Edit

We're goin' to Japan!
Pat
This playthrough is more of a gift for Pat than you guys.
Matt
Japanese love is different than our love.
Matt
You can't shoot your boss!
Pat
Well you can, it's just not advisable.
Matt
The little girl should pull off her face, and it's Vince McMahon.
Matt
If you had a tower in the city called Millennium Tower, why would you not organize your boss fights to be there?
Matt
This is the Yakuza office, if you wanna go in and apply.
Pat
Oh no! The Millennium Tower blew up again, every year.
Pat
This game series should be called Revenge: The Revengening, featuring orphans!
Matt
It gave him the strength to just man handle that bull.
Pat
“'Cause they were like, 'Fuck that, we need sequels!'.
Pat
You got five hundred experience listening to a skeezy creepo.
Matt
I am a shark loaner. I loan people sharks.
Pat
Just like Arethra Franklin taught Japan back when she was resurrected as Jesus Christ.
Pat
Fuck those stairs and their gangs.
Matt
Yucking it up with hobos, eating cat food.
Pat
Donnybrook sounds like the hottest guy. You just jump into his arms and float away with the current.
Pat
That's bullshit the Yakuza said, and spit their tigers out on the floor.
Matt
No, you just make little dick clothes with paper. I don't know what we're talking about!
Matt
Bayonetta is basically a Boxcelios tribute.
Pat
Nothing classier than drunk in a children's park
Pat
You can't microwave womanly flavour.
Pat
I put the women in the microwave, they taste better.
Pat
What is this cut-scene of nothing!?
Matt
I have this 55 gallon drum of lube I bought off of Amazon.
Pat
I bought from some guy outside whose name was 'Dude That Loves Lube'. His name is Lübe Bu.
Matt
I don't understand if you're making this up or not, cause I wasn't reading the text.
Matt
In order to get this loan, you must defeat me in a test of strength!
Pat
This dudes a hurricane of salt!
Pat
I thought that was Woolie.
Matt
Get me some shoes while I fuck this plant.
Matt
She just says, 'Man, my throat hurts.' That means shes a keeper boys.
Pat
Hes gonna take the recording of them peeing and use it in court.
Matt
You can't keep hot ramen in your butt all day.
Pat
Let's get down to the fighting, you fat, chubby, Japanese, bald Guile!
Matt
How do you feel now The Stiff?
Pat
Just fill the bullet wounds with noodles.
Matt
It made me stronger to eat as the truck have started to move.
Matt
Polish it off. Rub my dick on it, and polish it.
Pat
Why is it called leads?
Matt
Well, cause y'know, it's like you lead them on, and then kill them.
Pat
I defeated you, therefore this woman is mine.
Pat
I know a girl who's changing her mind right now. It's a huge pain in the ass.
Pat
Girls go sploosh, guys go sproing.
Matt
Entertain me! Give me facts about lakes!
Matt
Someone's got a big man crush on Arai.
Pat
Who wouldn't? Rowr.
Matt
I like like people in Japan say, 'Remember that time Future Trunks cut up Frieza?' He's like, 'I know that, idiot. They taught that in school!'
Matt
We need to push these boners...
Matt
For Summerslam.
Pat
Don't hit girls with guns. Also don't shoot girls. Also don't hit girls. I need to keep backtracking this.
Pat
Is he just gonna learn how to headbutt someone in the dick?
Matt
Don't cheat on your wife if she knows Kung Fu.
Pat
There used to be a main plot here, but it's gone now.
Matt
I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect a bunch of guys doing time machine shit.
Matt
So you're saying you think Sonic is a babe?
Pat
Wappy Horse, it's the robot horse... for your dick!
Pat
He's been totally cock-blocking the chunk.
Pat
Wait, from who?
Matt
I love being kicked in the dick. Metaphorically.
Pat
Six handguns. More than enough to load anything that's not dead.
Matt
In the report, the police noted how this was the most bad-ass thing that ever happened.
Matt
This story is so wide open, I bet I could stick my whole head in there.
Pat
I love making Japanese rafts outta dudes!
Pat
I can't fucking eat marshal arts!
Matt
Yakuza 4's budget is even smaller than an episode of Alf.
Matt
Woolie is basically a giant Naruto encyclopedia with dreads.
Matt
The important thing is that we gotta go to a men's bathroom, and peek through a hole in the wall, and then hopefully the truth doesn't poke us in the eye.
Pat
Might as well just rename this playthrough, 'Matt Won't Shut Up About Face/Off'.
Pat
In Japan, it's not called a soup kitchen, it's called an udon kitchen.
Matt
What's stronger, DNA or my word!?
Matt
Next podcast, all butter.
Pat
I'm constantly on edge for Liam to just stab me and go...
Pat
You've outlived your usefulness!
Matt
If I murder Liam, and then you're like, "Hey, did you murder Liam?", and then I kill you, that means I'm innocent.
Pat
Hot girls are good at murder. It's real easy: you be a hot chick, then you poison the guy... you're done! You're done! You skip like, thirty steps!
Pat
No one's going to adopt melted kids.
Pat
Let's discover the new depths of my lack of knowledge.
Pat
You know what ties my dick in a knot?
Matt
What?
Pat
Weird penises!
Matt
How does he not just stop problems by walking through the door?
Pat, on Kiryu
That's his butthole. Apply pressure in the ass.
Matt
Why are cops getting dick killed by Pokemon?
Pat
Shut up about Face/Off. You're such a stupid asshole.
Pat
I'd hate my guts too if I was a little girl.
Matt
You know for big manly men like us, with beards, we talk a lot about Sailor Moon.
Pat
You can only ground Liam. You can't ground me, I'm an adult. You can't ground Woolie, he's bigger than you.
Pat
Hey, you know what you just bought yourself? Two weeks of grounding.
Matt
Tokyo is a place where the flow of time is distorted.
Pat
Noooo! The plot!
Pat
Go away plot!
Matt
We are simultaneously given too much, and not enough information, all the time.
Matt
No, telephone booth. You change into your save pants.
Pat
So everyone who is watching, everyone within the sound of my voice, I fucked up.
Pat
Electron microscope dick burns are the hilarious-est of burns.
Pat
No one hears a gun in the FUCKING POLICE STATION!
Matt
Woolie is the Lady Macbeth of mustard.
Pat
Did your brain wanna say Face/Off so bad that you just invented the game of Faceball?
Pat
That's pretty much what these videos are Matt. You scrounging for money to rebuild your clan.
Pat
And he just drops like a sack of boners. From Poland.
Pat
But seriously, who wants to mess with Haruka now? Like, why don't you just shoot yourself in the face?
Pat
Under the script writer, it should have given credit to the guy who punched a shit load of holes into the script as well.
Matt

Trivia Edit

  • Pat first announced this playthrough on episode eighteen of the Super Best Friendcast, Dickbutt was a Spiderman Villain.
  • On December 21, 2013, Matt accidentally uploaded part five before part four, eventually having to upload both. [1]
  • This is the second playthrough to feature a "Part Zero", the first being Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance.
  • During episode fourteen, the Japanese version of Doc Brown appears, much to Matt's disbelief.
  • In part thirty-five, Pat reveals that he accidentally forgot to record the video when playing the next section of the game, so they were forced to re-do it. However, the audio was recorded, and was edited into the proceeding videos during some of the cut-scenes.
  • This is the first Let's Play in which a different save file is used towards the end of the game to save time and make things less difficult.

Gallery Edit

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